


Their Portland Summer

by babytobin_horse



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-21
Updated: 2014-02-07
Packaged: 2017-12-30 01:20:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 32,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1012317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/babytobin_horse/pseuds/babytobin_horse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One's in Seattle trying to figure things out with an old boyfriend, the other's across the globe, finding someone who's interested. But they have one secret they've kept between them. Surely it all meant something. It's a dance they've been going through all this time. Will they ultimately catch up and figure things out? Or will it slip through their grasp?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> this is a story I'm really excited to share. An anon gave me this idea about a month ago, and I immediately fell in love with it. Please give me your feedback - I'd really like to know what you think!

Only a few days had passed, but Tobin already missed home. It was strange, really. She hadn’t had a place to really call home since high school ended. During college she was away from home most of the time, and then she got the call up. She’d seen most of the world and on the few months she would have off from doing what she loved most, there was never a set place to stay while she wasn’t working. Sometimes it was at a friend’s place, maybe on their couch. Most often it was her sister’s apartment in Jersey.

That all changed this past summer when she played in the NWSL. If she closed her eyes she could imagine her small apartment now. She could feel the comfort of it all. She could smell breakfast being cooked. It was nice to Tobin. Now she wasn’t one to settle down, but it was possible. Especially when a certain someone was involved.

A part of Tobin ached for that someone to be with her now. She wished she had invited the girl to come to Paris with her and stay with her for a few days. She wished she didn’t take advantage of their short time together in Portland. Only a little over two months to themselves. At first, it was three of them in the apartment, but when Allie moved in with Courtney it  was only two. She hadn’t lived with the girl since the previous year in LA, but they had a third roommate with them too, and that made things different. Because after Allie moved out, something shifted.

It was only two in the apartment, but it was perfect that way. They were so in sync there were no problems. Living together and playing on the same team was...paradise. Now in her French apartment, Tobin longed to hear the raspy laugh that was music to her ears. She wanted to hear the rasp grow quieter at night, even though it was only the two of them in the apartment and there was no need to use quiet voices during plenty of late night talks. She wished she could see the carefree smile that Tobin somehow was able to call upon by simply making a stupid joke. But Tobin also knew it was more than that. It was more than just living with her teammate and best friend. It was more than a temporary home. Besides the promise of returning next season, there was something else between the two.

Somewhere between Allie moving with Courtney and Tobin leaving for Paris, the midfielder found herself liking her best friend more than she should have. There wasn’t an exact moment things changed. All she knew was soon enough they were blurring the lines between harmless jokes and flirting. Between just friends and something more. She didn’t know what to name it, but it was happening and she found herself not wanting to stop it. It was just one day she noticed she and Alex had their legs tangled in one another with Alex’s arm wrapped very loosely around Tobin’s side. Tobin didn’t say anything about it, of course. Alex didn’t seem to notice or mind, and Tobin didn’t hate it. There was that other time they somehow ended up taking a nap together in Alex’s bed with Tobin’s arms holding Alex close to her and the forward was curled into Tobin. She was the one who woke first, and when she realized what situation she found herself in, she didn’t know what to do. Soon enough, Alex woke up as well, and when she noticed their position, she only snuggled her head into Tobin’s shoulder and mumbled something about not wanting to move.

Best friends do this, she thought to herself at the time. Really close best friends.

The moment it really hit her that she had a home was the day before they left for Rochester.

 

_The apartment was cleared of all of Tobin’s (not that she had much, anyway) belongings and almost all of Alex’s. Though neither would be returning to this place for a while, it still felt lived in._

_“Are you sure you have everything?” Alex asked, popping her head out of her bedroom._

_“Shouldn’t I be asking you that? You’re the one who owns more than I do,” Tobin chuckled, tossing her bag next to the front door. She walked over to Alex, leaning against her doorframe._

_Alex smiled, shaking her head as she folded one of her shirts and walking over to her suitcase. “I can come back here when I want in case I forget something. You, on the other hand, will be across the ocean,” she sighed._

_“Come on, I’ll be back before you know it,” Tobin promised, following the younger girl into her room. “It’ll be May in no time.”_

_“Yeah, but you’ll miss like half of our season,” Alex pouted._

_Tobin found it absolutely adorable when Alex pouted. She looked like a child and all the older girl wanted to do was hold her and give her anything she wanted. But she didn’t. “We still have national camps. You know, if it’s FIFA sanctioned and all that.”_

_Alex let out a dramatic sigh. “I guess that’ll have to do.”_

_Tobin gave her a signature grin before something caught her eye in Alex’s suitcase. “Hey…” She leaned over, snatching a stack of shirts and a hoodie or two. “Are these mine?!’_

_“Uh…” Alex looked from the stack back to Tobin with cheeks tinted pink. “Maybe?”_

_Tobin’s heart did the stupid thing where it skipped a beat when her suspicions were confirmed. There was a small smile on her face but it quickly turned into a smirk as she placed her clothes back in Alex’s suitcase. “That’s okay, I have some of yours too.”_

_Alex’s eyes widened. “That’s where my Cal hoodie went! Aw come on Tobs, you know that’s my favorite!” She whined, her shiny, blue eyes wide with pleading to get her hoodie back._

_“Hey! You took my favorite UNC one! It’s only fair,” Tobin shrugged._

_“Fine,” the forward puffed, crossing her arms. “Have it your way.”_

_Tobin only laughed, adoring Alex only more after knowing she was taking some of her clothes and wearing them when the midfielder herself wasn’t around. She grabbed another stack of Alex’s clothes. “Come on, let’s get you all packed up.”_

_After two more hours, the girls finally managed to pack everything, making sure neither left anything behind. Alex let out a long sigh and flopped onto her bed. “Finally.”_

_“It’s your fault for bringing so many clothes,” Tobin pointed out, rolling her eyes as she jumped onto the bed and found her place next to Alex._

_The forward turned onto her side and looked at Tobin intently. “Are you ready to go back, Tobin?”_

_“To Paris? Yeah, I’m excited,” she admitted, also turning onto her side. “but...I’m really gonna miss this.”_

_“Miss what?”  Alex asked curiously._

_Tobin sighed. “This team. The apartment. Our pranks with Allie…” she hesitated for a moment before adding, “you.” Alex blushed, casting her eyes down to the sheets, and when she didn’t say anything, Tobin continued. “I think this is the first place in a long time that I can call home.”_

_The younger girl looked up at Tobin, a little surprised. “Really?”_

_She nodded. “When I come back to this place after we go out of town for away games, camps or even something small like groceries, I feel like this is home. This is where I belong, Lex, and you’re a big part of that. Thank you.”_

_“Wow,” Alex said after a few moments of silence. “I’m really glad you think that way. This is home to me too,” she admitted. “I’m really going to miss coming home with you, or coming home to you.”_

_“It’s our home,” Tobin whispered softly, gently tucking loose hairs away from Alex’s face._

_They stared at each other for a moment, letting their words sink in. They both knew this was more than just an apartment to them. It was more than somewhere to live and be comfortable in. This was home. They were each other’s own home. This apartment was where, somewhere along the way, the found each other - even if they didn’t know that was what they were doing. They still didn’t know._

_The midfielder suddenly felt the urge to kiss Alex right there, to just lean in an inch close and press her lips against hers. All she could inhale was the scent she’d come to know as Alex. She probably would’ve done it if Alex’s phone hadn’t rung._

_It was then, in that moment, that Tobin realized she wasn’t ready to leave this place. She wasn’t ready to say goodbye to Alex, who had blurred the boundaries as best friends. She wasn’t ready to not wake up to her beautiful face in the morning. She wasn’t ready to be thousands of miles away, across the ocean. Suddenly, she became selfish. She wanted to stay in their small Portland apartment and just be with her best friend._

  
  


-

 

Alex was restless on the plane. She wished she had returned with Rachel earlier that morning to make the Thorns Championship Celebration with fans, but she decided to get in a few extra hours of sleep. Now she was making her way to Seattle and sleep didn’t seem to find her. Instead, she found herself missing her favorite midfielder. It hadn’t even been a week since she had left, but to Alex it was long enough to feel like forever. She missed their apartment in Portland, which she’d been calling home more than ever in those last couple of months since Tobin arrived. She missed their private moments that no one would have to know about except them, like a sweet little secret that looks or glances wouldn’t be able to give away. Most of all, she just missed Tobin. She missed her wide grin that seemed to be present more often than not. She missed being dragged into ridiculous pranks. She missed their silly antics during practice and sometimes even games.

There was one thing about Tobin she missed more than anything else. What she really missed was whatever they’d become in the time they’d spent together. There really wasn’t a label to it - if Alex was being honest, she couldn’t entirely be sure it was completely there. But she knew in the smallest of moments, there was something between them that was more than friends. Something more than just being close.

She had to shake these thoughts as her flight descended because she was in Seattle for a reason. There was a man who Alex had loved and maybe still loved waiting for her to spend the remainder of the week with the striker. Letting out a sigh, she straightened her posture against her seat and turned on her phone. A sad smile appeared on her face as she saw the lock screen was of her and Tobin. A pang in her chest reminded her that she wouldn’t be seeing the girl in person for the next few months. _No_ , Alex reminded herself. _You’re in Seattle now. You’re here to see Servando. And you’re here for a reason._ She needed to figure things out. Where did she and Servando stand? And how does that affect her and Tobin? Does it affect them at all? Is there even a ‘her and Tobin’ to consider?

As she walked into the airport, she smiled as she saw Servando not waiting too far from her. He immediately noticed her and had a huge grin on his face. It still warmed her heart to know she could cause him happiness. She made her way over to him, smiling. “Hey.”

“Hey, you’re finally here!” he exclaimed, pulling her into a hug.

She hugged back lightly. “Yeah,” she answered, but her mind was somewhere else as she was caught in Servando’s embrace.

 

_The noise her team was making was ridiculous. Maybe the shirt was a little too big for her, but she really didn’t care. It was like a mini resemblance of winning the Olympics last year. Though the crowd wasn’t as energized because they were playing on their opponent’s turf, the feelings Alex felt were coursing through her veins, keeping her pumped._

_They had just won the 2013 NWSL Championship for the inaugural season. This team, the one she’d fought for with its ups and downs, had come through and clinched the championship game. The famous Alex Morgan wasn’t the star of the show for the night, and that was okay with her. She’d had her spotlight moment in an important game last summer. This summer, it was all about Tobin. Tobin, who was sort of a miracle for the Thorns, came in mid-season and picked them up off their scoreless streak. The team seemed to feed off of each other better with her on the field. They were more composed than they had ever been. That was their star tonight, and Alex wouldn’t have it any other way._

_Suddenly, Cindy was coming up to her, giving her a hug. “You did good tonight, kid. I know you didn’t get to see as many minutes tonight as originally planned, but--”_

_“No,” Alex shook her head quickly. “I understand. Cat was taken out so we had to re-organize the defense. I’m just glad I helped us get that second goal.”_

_Cindy smiled. “Thatta girl.”_

_She continued to speak, but Alex was no longer paying attention when she felt a pair of arms wrapping around her upper body tightly and a body pressing up against her back. She grinned, knowing who it was without having to look back as she rested a hand on top of theirs. Cindy noticed the exchange and shook her head, laughing a little as she turned to talk to another player._

_Alex smiled. “Tobs.”_

_Tobin rested her chin on Alex’s shoulder with her cheek resting on her neck. She held Alex so tight she thought she was hurting the girl for a moment, but Alex only squeezed her hand gently. “We won.”_

_“You did it, superstar,” Alex laughed, leaning herself back against Tobin, enjoying the closeness. It was the first time they’d publicly been this close, but Alex didn’t mind it at all. If anything, it fed her energy, having Tobin so close._

_“We did it,” the midfielder corrected._

_Alex could hear the glee in her voice and didn’t have to turn around to know the other girl was showing off her famous grin. Too soon for Alex’s liking, Tobin removed her chin from the forward’s shoulder and let go of her. She tried not to let her disappointment show as she spun around to face the older girl. “This is it.”_

_Something in Tobin’s eyes changed then. They looked just a bit less joyful and bright than they had a second ago. “Don’t.” Her eyes were pleading and it hurt Alex to know she wouldn’t be seeing those eyes for the next few months until they begun training for the Algarve Cup, but only then it would be temporary._

_She sighed, nodding. “I won’t.”_

_The midfielder offered her a smile as she slung an arm around Alex’s shoulders, pulling her closer. “Come on, we just won the Championship!”_

_Alex could only laugh as they rejoined their teammates in conversation, laughing and whooping. She knew she only had hours until goodbye, but she also knew it was time to enjoy the moment, and that was something she knew she couldn’t repeat._

 

“You wanna do anything?” Servando asked, breaking Alex out of her memory.

She blinked for a moment before pulling away from him, remembering he wasn’t Tobin. “Uh, nah. I’m okay with just staying in for tonight.”

The warmth she felt - whether it be the immediate contact from Servando or the memory of that night - suddenly disappeared, causing her to shiver a bit. This wasn’t Portland anymore. There weren’t any private moments between her and Tobin to share. This was Seattle, and this was Servando.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Waking up in someone else's arms is troublesome for Alex while returning to France opens up options for Tobin.

_Alex wasn’t sure how they got back to the hotel and to their room. Tobin, who definitely had a few drinks, wasn’t really sure either. Did Shim drive? No no, Shim was completely wasted less than an hour into their party at the bar. Did Kat? Hmm...maybe Kat. Or maybe the called a cab. Neither girl could remember how, but they were now changed into their pajamas (well, nike pros and sports bras). They didn’t smell too great because of the game and because of the hours they’d spent in the bar, but they really didn’t care._

_Their time together was now limited to only hours.Tobin was going across the world in a few hours. Alex was going to DC to train with the national team before playing against Mexico. Neither mentioned it. Neither wanted to ruin their last night together._

_After drunk giggling, they finally seemed to settle in Tobin’s bed. The midfielder had Alex in a tight embrace, fingers dancing up and down the younger girl’s back, sending shivers down her spine. Alex was snuggled comfortably against Tobin. Her head was dug into the crook of the older girl’s neck and her own fingers were roaming Tobin’s exposed abs. It was hard to tell whether these small actions were because they’d had too much to drink or because they were finally allowing their secret desires to come to life. Or perhaps it was both?_

_“Don’t go,” Alex mumbled into Tobin’s skin. Her hot breath caused the older girl to shiver._

_“I’m right here,” she replied, one of her hands finding its way to Alex’s hair. She began to rake her fingers through the highlighted locks slowly. She was inhaling Alex into her system and aside from the sweat and alcohol, it was a scent she was all too familiar with. She wanted to remember it. She needed to._

_“S’not what I mean,” the forward frowned against Tobin’s skin. “Don’t go to Paris.”_

_Now it was Tobin’s turn to frown. “Why not Lex?”_

_Alex suddenly wrapped her arms around Tobin’s middle, pulling her close. The amount of space between them became nonexistent, and Tobin’s head was spinning. She attempted to convince herself it was because of the drinks she’d had._

_“I want you to stay with me,” she whimpered, leaving a kiss where Tobin’s collarbone began._

_Tobin closed her eyes at the feeling of the warm lips against her skin. It sent a buzz through her, a buzz that even the right amount of alcohol couldn’t satisfy. Suddenly, she was alive in a way she’d never been before. And it was all because of Alex. She was still in Alex’s tight grip, but didn’t bother asking her to let go. It felt too good...too right. “I’m going to miss you so much.”_

_“Not as much as I’ll miss you,” Alex whispered, pulling her face away from Tobin’s skin to get a good look at the midfielder in the pale moonlight that lit their hotel room. It satisfied her to know Tobin’s warm brown eyes were already on her. She couldn’t recall if Tobin had ever looked at her the way she was looking at her now. She was looking at Alex in pure adoration, but there was something else she was trying to fight off showing. Lust?_

_Tobin’s fingers untangled themselves out of Alex’s hair and danced along the forward’s spine. Her eyes were focused on the blue ones that were forever etched in her memory, but tonight they looked more electrified than ever before. They were both alive in a new sense. For weeks they’d been tiptoeing a careful line. For days they’d been testing out new waters, unsure what this new thing was. It wasn’t a relationship - Alex still had a boyfriend and Tobin wasn’t looking for one. But Alex’s relationship wasn’t perfect and maybe things had a way for finding Tobin. As Alex and Servando were falling apart and coming harder to manage, Tobin was discreetly crossing the line. It wasn’t her fault - not really. Alex was the one who started it. With the lingering touches and the positions they’d found themselves in too often, it was always Alex who started it. And she didn’t make it seem like a big deal, so neither did Tobin. They were still trying to find a rhythm between each other, but time was running out and alcohol was starting to guide their movements. Maybe all they lacked was courage, and tonight was the night their courage came._

_Alex’s eyes traced the minutest features of Tobin’s face, trying to force it into her brain so she could call upon it when Tobin was gone and it would be as accurate as she could get. She knew video calls wouldn’t do the girl justice. She had a natural beauty - no need to wear make up. In fact, she probably looked even more stunning without makeup on (not that she wore much to begin with). She stopped once she got to Tobin’s lips, and involuntarily licked her own. She’d been itching to taste them for awhile now, but was always too scared._

Fuck it, she’s leaving in a few hours _was Alex’s last thought before closing the small gap between their lips._

_There had never been a kiss that was so sweet and innocent, but managed to cause an electric charge to run through both participants. At least, Alex and Tobin had never experienced that. Tobin wanted more of Alex, she knew she did, but she was too busy enjoying the taste of Alex’s lips against her own. She held the younger girl tighter than before, enjoying the skin-to-skin contact with their stomachs pressed against one another. It remained like that for awhile, until finally Tobin broke away._

_She gave Alex a content smile, kissing her forehead gently. “C’mon, I need some sleep before I leave.”_

_“I’m not-” Alex let out a yawn. “-tired.”_

_A soft chuckle left the midfielder’s lips. “Go to sleep Lex.” Alex didn’t respond, only curled herself into Tobin once again. “Night.”_

_“Night Tobs.”_

 

-

 

The arms surrounding her didn’t feel comfortable to her. Not when that night was stuck in her head. Had it really only been almost a week since she’d last fell asleep to the rhythm of Tobin’s heartbeat? To Alex it seemed like it had been months already. If she was like this now, how was she supposed to get through the next eight months?

If she was being honest, she wasn’t even sure the kiss had happened at all. It almost seemed too good to be true. After all, she had been a bit more wasted than she usually allowed herself to be. And the thing was, the next morning, they both woke up with pounding headaches, but Tobin had already slipped out of bed, gathering her belongings. Alex hadn’t dared asked if it really happened, and Tobin didn’t bring it up. So they let it go.

 _Stop thinking about her Alex_ , she chastised herself. _You’re here to figure things out with Servando. You still love each other, right?_

But she couldn’t answer that question.

This wasn’t her bed in Portland. Tobin’s arms weren’t around her. How could something that used to feel so right feel so wrong now?

Servando’s arms pulled her closer to him, tightening just a bit. It didn’t bring her much comfort.

  
  


Tobin was just waking up on the other side of the world. She groggily shuffled into the bathroom to wash her face and tie her hair up to get it out of the way. As she wiped her face dry, her phone chirped. There was a part of her that wanted it to be Alex, so she went to check who texted her.

 

**Breakfast at our favorite cafe in 10?**

 

Tobin deflated a bit when she saw the text wasn’t from Alex, but instead was from Allsani Kosovar, her Swedish teammate. Sighing, she typed back a reply.

 

**Sure. Bringing Linds. See you soon.**

 

“Lindsey!” she called from her bedroom. “Koso wants to go get breakfast down the street!”

“YES I LOVE THAT PLACE!”

Tobin chuckled as she heard the reply. She quickly shuffled around her room, trying to find some jeans and a shirt she could easily change into. For a moment, her thoughts wandered to Seattle. What time was it there? Surely Alex was still asleep. With Servando. Before she could stop herself, she imagined Alex snuggling into Servando, like she’d done multiple times with Tobin. The thought made her cringe, and she bit her lip.

_Alex isn’t yours._

But why did it feel like she was?

 

-

 

_“So...you’re going back for sure,” Alex said quietly from her seat in the living room. She watched as Tobin looked up from one of the many catalogues Nike sent them monthly. She liked the way Tobin seemed so interested in the equipment in the issue and the way she had a few strands of hair in her face she didn’t bother moving out._

_Tobin looked at her with a vacant expression. “Yes…” She had announced the news to Alex earlier that day, but was deflated when the only response she had received was a pitiful “oh”. She didn’t understand why Alex hadn’t reacted at all. Even Alex being mad at her leaving would’ve been better than not getting a response at all. Now, she assumed she was getting her response._

_Alex nodded, her eyes on the coffee table, but Tobin knew she wasn’t actually looking it at. She was mindlessly staring. “When do you leave?”_

_“First week of September.”_

_“What about our friendly?” Alex asked, wondering what she’d have to do to make Tobin stay a little bit longer. She wasn’t ready for her to leave so soon._

_Tobin shrugged. “If Tom calls me up, I’ll stay just for that and then leave the next morning.”_

_“Oh, okay..” She seemed too distant. Tobin knew something was wrong._

_“What?”_

_“Huh?”_

_She frowned, sitting up from her comfortable slouching position. “You don’t want me to go,” she stated, not even bothering to ask if it was true or not. They both knew the answer._

_“I don’t want you to go so soon,” Alex corrected, biting her lip._

_Tobin held a sigh as she put her magazine down. “You know I can’t turn this down, Lex. I have to get better somehow. I’m getting more starts now since playing over there, you know.”_

_“I know that,” Alex snapped, much harsher than she meant to. Softening her tone, she added, “I’m just...not ready for you to be gone.”_

_“Come with me,” Tobin suddenly blurted, then tried to stop the heat from rising with her cheeks._

_“What?” Alex asked in surprise, her blue eyes widening. Tobin would definitely miss those blue eyes._

_Tobin shrugged, becoming shy. “Come with me,” she mumbled to the ground. “I know you’ve gotten some overseas offers, too. I’m sure PSG would take you - or any club in France.”_

_Alex thought about it for a moment. Her heart was telling her to say yes. Anything to be with Tobin. But she knew better than that. She couldn’t pick up and leave so suddenly. “Tobin...this league - I can’t. There are so many younger girls that are looking up to me. They come to our games. And with the NWSL doing pretty well in its first season, well, I want to grow with the league. I want to support it every step of the way and I want people to see that, you know? I want them to know I helped establish this league. That I contributed to its success.”_

_The midfielder held in a sigh. Alex was right, of course. She couldn’t leave, knowing she had people looking up to her and a league using her face as a symbol. But Tobin wished they would both be selfish for a moment. She wished she and Alex could just run away to Paris together. How romantic would that be? The thought quickly left Tobin’s head as she realized her and Alex weren’t even together. They were… She couldn’t even finish the sentence because she didn’t know what they were. “I know I just...want my best friend there with me. You’d love it, Lex. I swear.”_

_Alex managed a weak smile. “I bet I would. I’ll have to come and visit.”_

_“I don’t want to be gone for so long,” Tobin admitted. “I wish they’d at least let me come back to visit often.”_

_“Me too,” Alex bit her lip, trying to imagine living in the apartment without Tobin like she’d done before. She couldn’t._

_“There’s something that I’ll look forward too, though.”_

_“What’s that?” Alex asked curiously, quirking an eyebrow._

_A smile appeared on Tobin’s face. Not just any smile. It was a smile Alex had come to fall in love with. A smile she believed was reserved especially for her. “Coming back to this.”_

_She didn’t know how to respond. Luckily Alex didn’t gape like an idiot, but only smiled like a fool. “I’ll be waiting,” she finally responded after a long beat of silence._

_“Promise?”_

_“Promise.”_

 

-

  
  


_Alex would like this place_ was Tobin’s first thought as she and Lindsey arrived at the cafe. _She’d really like this if she was here._

They found Koso already at a table waving them over. Lindsey was the first to greet her.

“Koso!” she exclaimed, leaning down to hug the Swedish woman.

“We only saw each other the other day,” Koso laughed, shaking her head. “Now Tobin,” she said, directing her eyes at the midfielder. “Is someone I haven’t seen in awhile.”

Tobin shrugged with a grin. “It’s been about three months, dude. Not too long.”

“Come here, idiot,” the forward laughed, pulling Tobin into an embrace. “Congratulations on your win in the states.”

The midfielder couldn’t help but beam as she found her seat between the two blondes. “Thanks, I mean I was only on the team for half a season so it’s not that big.”

“Tobin!” Lindsey exclaimed, smacking her arm lightly. “Your only goals scored were in the semis and final! That’s a _huge_ deal!”

Allansi nodded eagerly, agreeing with her fellow forward. “They were incredible goals! You’ll have to do some of that magic this season.”

Tobin laughed, shrugging a little. She was never one to brag about her goals or her skill. “I’ll see what I can do.”

As the three soccer players laughed a little, a young dark haired woman with bright green eyes and her hair swept up into a ponytail approached them. “ _Bonjour, comment allez-vous_?” ( _Hello, how are you?_ )

“ _Ça va très bien_ ,” ( _I’m very good_ ) Koso smiled at her. Tobin and Lindsey nodded along, obviously Tobin hadn’t spoken the language much while she was away - except for when Alex asked her to.

“ _Qu’est-ce vous desirez_?” ( _What would you like?_ ) The brunette asked, whipping out her notepad and pen.

Tobin decided to put in her order first. “ _Je voudrais un croissant avec des ouefs et du bacon. Et de le thé aussi, s’il vous plait._ ” ( _I would like a croissant with eggs and bacon. And some tea too, please_ ).

As the waitress wrote the order down, she smiled a little. “Pretty good French for an american,” she finally said with her thick accent. Her eyes left the notepad to meet Tobin’s.

“What gave it away?” Tobin grinned, glad the woman spoke some english.

“Accent,” the waitress shrugged, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, which it probably was.

“Of course,” Tobin chuckled, shaking her head as the woman also laughed before taking the other two women’s orders. As the waitress walked away, the two blondes immediately turned to face Tobin. “What?” she asked innocently.

“Oh please,” Lindsey said, rolling her eyes. “Please tell me you noticed that!”

“No Linds, she’s still clueless as ever,” Koso laughed, patting Tobin’s arm.

“No really, what are you talking about?” Tobin frowned, looking at her two friends curiously.

“ _Idiot_ ,” Koso muttered, to which Tobin flicked her arm. The Swedish woman only laughed. “That waitress was very interested in you.”

“No she wasn’t,” Tobin shook her head, positive this was just another one of her teammates’ antics. She surely didn’t miss those as much.

“She was totally checking you out,” the American forward sided with the girl to her right. “She’s into you, Tobs.”  
“You’re seeing things, “ Tobin hummed, taking out her phone and checking the time. Yup, Alex was definitely asleep.

“Tobin, when was the last time you were in a relationship?”

“Uh…” The midfielder wasn’t sure how to answer. She hadn’t been in an _official_ relationship in well over a year. Then there was Alex in Portland. What was that? It certainly wasn’t officially anything - was it even allowed to be considered a relationship? Suddenly she found herself craving Alex’s touch again. There was an ache in her that only her favorite forward could fill.

“See? You don’t even know!” Lindsey pointed out.

“So?” Tobin shrugged. “Doesn’t mean I’m looking for one.”

Koso quirked an eyebrow. “She’s _söt_ , Tobin. You should go for it.” Tobin had been around Koso for long enough to know ‘söt’ meant cute. And she actually couldn’t really deny it. She was pretty söt. Before she could utter a reply, the waitress returned with their drinks.

Though there wasn’t really any flirting going on with waitress girl, Tobin did eventually find out her name was Christelle and that she started working at the cafe only a month ago, which explained why Tobin had never seen her around before.

“Come on, why don’t we all head to the market before practice? I’m sure you two could use some light grocery shopping,” Koso suggested as Tobin paid for the meal.

“Sure, you two go ahead. I’ll just leave a tip and catch up.”

“Tobin, your tip’s already included in the check,” Koso said in her duh voice.

“She wants to add extra cause she knows the girl’s cute,” Lindsey smirked, standing from the table. “Let’s go Koso.”

The older blonde laughed, also rising from her seat and beginning to leave with Lindsey. Tobin only chuckled softly, leaving a couple of euros for the young waitress. Just as she stood, Christelle had come back.

“So, do I get to see you again?” Christelle asked, a soft smile on her face.

Tobin grinned back. “This is one of my favorite places, so I think you can guarantee that.”

“ _Parfait_ ,” the dark brunette said, her eyes shining.

Tobin gave a quick wave and then turned to catch up to her friends. For a moment, there wasn’t an ache in her chest, but then she saw a pair of blue eyes in a random bystander and the feeling came back again.

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maybe fixing things won't be so hard, but missing someone definitely is.

Alex had been awake for a few minutes now, but had not moved from the position she woke up in. Servando’s arms were still locked around her and she wasn’t sure how to move without waking him up. Typically, he was a heavy sleeper, but she had felt him wake up multiple times in the night. The stress of not playing in games was getting to him, and Alex couldn’t help but feel bad for the guy. She now felt bad for not always being at the games he did play in.

Something had shifted in Alex after she and Servando started to go downhill. And she didn’t doubt that it had anything to do with Tobin. But that kind of scared her. It was Tobin, her best friend. Tobin, who had a way with charming people without trying to. Was that what happened? Was Alex finally being charmed by the great Tobin Heath? Sure, Tobin cared about her….but to what extent? She still hadn’t heard from Tobin and it had been days since she’d last had form of communication with her. If Tobin cared enough, would she follow through? Closing her eyes, Alex now longed for the contagious grin, the presence that always seemed to calm her, the arms that used to hold her. It wasn’t like anyone had known. It was all professional and best friend banter in public, but in the quiet of their Portland home, where they could just be Alex and Tobin - not Alex Morgan and Tobin Heath - was Alex’s favorite part of her summer. What if she’d gone with Tobin? Or what if she’d convinced her to stay?

 

-

 

_Though it was still a little early, the airport was already bustling around like it never slept. Tobin and Alex had eaten breakfast at one of the small restaurants and were now seated side by side, ticking the time down. Alex hated this, she hated knowing that Tobin was slipping from her grasp as the clock ticked on. Tobin silently dared Alex to make her stay. She wanted to return to Paris, it was too amazing the first time to pass up a second, but she wanted Alex too. It wasn’t looking possible to have both._

_“When do you head to Seattle?” Tobin asked. Even the thought of Alex going back there made her stomach churn._

_“The day after the friendly,” Alex answered simply, her fingers drumming along the edge of her seat._

_“I’m sure Servando is loving that.”_

_The forward could’ve sworn she heard a bit of bitterness, but when she looked at Tobin’s face, there was not a trace of malice or anger in sight. “I guess.”_

_Tobin hadn’t meant for that to come out like that and she could only pray Alex didn’t notice. She looked at Alex, fighting every instinct she had to take her hands in her own. “This is good for you,” she reassured the younger girl. “You have to figure out what’s going on between you two.”_

_“But what about us?” Alex didn’t say. “What if I don’t want to figure it out? What if I just want you?” The words where on the tip of her tongue, but they wouldn’t release themselves into the open._

_“I know,” she replied instead, running a hand through her hair. “but I don’t know we’re already broken or..”_

_Tobin shook her head, forcing a smile when really she wanted to throw something as she said the following words, “You and him have been through so much, Lex. I’m sure you can get through this, too.”_

_There were times Tobin Heath simply confused her best friend. And this was one of those. D_ oes she want to be with me or not?! _Alex’s thoughts screamed. It was as if Tobin was taking back everything that happened._ If she wanted to be with me, then why is she telling me to fix things with Servando?

_Before either could say another word, Tobin’s flight was called. With a heavy sigh, she stood. “Eight months.”_

_“Don’t say that,” Alex groaned, giving her a light shove on the shoulder._

_“Oh yeah, we’ve got friendlies - maybe - and an Algarve Cup to win,” Tobin grinned._

_“Of course,” Alex smiled back. But friendlies and camps and tournaments weren’t enough. She wanted Tobin with her all the time._

_Slowly, Alex’s arms wrapped around Tobin’s middle, giving her a crushing hug. Tobin’s arms slid their way around Alex’s neck, tugging her closer. Her head found a place in the crook of Alex’s neck, as if it was meant to be there all along. They stayed like that for what seemed like eternity. Neither wanted to move. They wished the other would force them to make a decision that involved the both of them, but that’s not how fate decided to work. Finally, Tobin’s flight was called again._

_“I really need to go,” Tobin mumbled into Alex’s skin, sending shivers down the younger girl’s spine._

_Alex only hummed, rubbing Tobin’s back gently. “Right…”_

_It took a lot of willpower for Tobin to pull away face away from the warmth she had come to know as Alex. “This isn’t goodbye, it’s a see you later.”_

_“It’s never goodbye,” Alex nodded, convincing herself more than Tobin._

_“Never,” Tobin confirmed. She hesitated for a split second. Her eyes went to Alex’s lips, recalling the way they tasted the night before. Alex hadn’t remembered it. Tobin figured she’d be too drunk to remember anyway, the girl was always a heavy drinker when it came to celebrations._

_Quickly, she kissed Alex’s temple, forcing a weak smile. “See you.” She peeled herself away from Alex, adjusting her carry on bag and walked towards the gates to her flight. To Paris. She dared to look back just once, and saw Alex was still watching her go. Tobin swallowed back any indulgences and kept walking._

This isn’t goodbye _was being repeated in both of their minds._

 

-

 

“Good morning,” Alex cooed softly as Servando stretched, loosening his grip on the girl.

Servando rubbed his eyes with one hand, blinking a few times to wake himself up. “How long have you been up?”

She shrugged, turning to face him. “Not too long really.”

He hummed, kissing her forehead. Alex had to remind herself not to stiffen. “I’ve really missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too,” Alex mumbled. It wasn’t a lie - there were times she would suddenly get this feeling that she knew somehow could be repaired by the man who’d been in her life for five years.

“Come on, I’ll make us some coffee while you get ready. I’m taking you out today,” he said, grinning as he spoke. There was a glint in his eye and Alex felt guilty for the lines she had crossed with Tobin..or almost crossed...or blurred. She still wasn’t sure.

“Kay,” she smiled, kissing his cheek before he slid out of bed and stalked out of the room. She stretched a little, lying flat on her back as she thought for a moment.

This was Servando. She was going to fix this. Maybe distance and work were the only problems.

 

A whole day spent with Servando  without worries or stress was definitely something Alex needed. Throughout the day, she found the Servando she fell in love with. She found the one who supported her through everything, who made her laugh without even trying. This wasn’t enough to push aside their occasional fallouts, but it was a start.

She let Servando lace their fingers together, leading her to into a shop with a sign that read “SEATTLE’S BEST MILKSHAKES”.

“How come I’ve never been here before?!” Alex demanded, licking her lips at the thought of the milkshake.

Servando chuckled as he offered a small shrug. “No idea. Came here last month and loved it. I know you will, too.”

Alex no longer felt uncomfortable as Servando slid his arm around her waist as he ordered two chocolate smoothies (even though she tried to change her order to a fruit smoothie to stay in shape). She leaned into him, relaxing as she somehow fell into the similar patterns they’d been going through since college.

“It’s good to have you home,” he mumbled softly.

The forward only hummed in response, but in her heart she knew it wasn’t home.

 

-

 

Tobin hadn’t played a single game with PSG. The league was definitely in season, but the midfielder had not suited up just yet. Her trainers insisted that she waited until her foot was 100% ready to go before stepping onto the field. She kept telling them that her foot was fine and that she was ready to play, but they refused to listen. They inspected her foot during every practice because Tobin would push herself as if she wasn’t injured. Though it didn’t show, she was getting a bit frustrated that she wasn’t playing. Unable to play, she longed for Alex even more. Sure, her PSG teammates knew how to keep her company on the bench, but her favorite striker would always know what to do to cheer her up. This was what Tobin was thinking about as her phone rang in the empty French apartment.

“Hello?”  
“Allo, Tobin?”

Tobin’s features turned up at the recognition of the voice. “Laure! Hey!”

Laure Boulleau was easily one of Tobin’s favorite French people. Maybe even one of her favorite people ever. The small, bubbly defender reminded her much of her friends back home. She immediately befriended Tobin on her arrival last year and it wasn’t hard to hit it off with her. Also playing on the French National Team, Laure was one of her only teammates that understood Tobin’s life. They’d become pretty close and Laure was one of the factors that pulled Tobin back if she was being honest.

“What are you doing today?” Laure asked, her accent always obvious.

“ _Je ne sais pas_ ,” she answered, trying to add a little French in conversations here and there. She really wasn’t sure what her schedule looked like today since they had the day off and she was at her apartment all alone.

“No plans with Lindsey and Koso?” the defender asked.

“They’re on their own adventure,” Tobin chuckled. “I decided to sit this one out. Why, what’s up?”

“I will be there in _vingt_ minutes, get your butt ready - we’re going around Paris!”

“What? I’ve seen all the tourist spots already.”

“I’m taking you to places they do not show you,” Laure explained. “ _À bientôt_!”

Before Tobin could even reply back, the line went dead. She smiled, shaking her head a little. She had twenty minutes to get ready for an adventure with someone who always knew what to do.

 

-

 

The morning following her and Servando’s date, Alex was mindlessly scrolling through her twitter. Servando had gone off to an early morning training session with the Sounders, leaving the forward at home with nothing to do until her interview that afternoon. She was due to be all over the country in the next few days, but she didn’t really mind. Being with Servando after yesterday was a bit easier for her now. She started to become more confident that she could fix whatever went wrong between them.

Then she thought of Tobin.

She had tried watching the latest PSG game, but unfortunately the girl hadn’t been on the pitch. She wasn’t even in the 18 roster. It worried Alex - was she okay? Was it still her foot? And then she wished she had Tobin by her side right then. Her missing presence was enough to get Alex to leave her Twitter app and scroll through her contacts. Doing the mental math in her head, she knew it would be evening in Paris and Tobin would be awake.

 

Tobin had just arrived at her apartment after spending the afternoon with Laure in the small parts of Paris no tourists knew of themselves. There was a warm smile on her face as she sauntered into the kitchen where Lindsey was making herself some dinner.

“Sup dude,” the midfielder greeted.

“Where have you been all day?” Lindsey questioned, looking up from cooking.

The older girl shrugged casually. “Out.”

“With who?”

“Laure,” she answered casually.

Lindsey did her best to hid a smirk. “Oh really?

“Yup,” Tobin nodded, popping the ‘p’. “It was pretty cool.”

And it really was. After grabbing a bite, Laure showed her places she’d never seen before - they definitely weren’t mentioned as tourist locations. They’d laughed and joked and got to catch up on everything that practices and games didn’t give them enough time to do. Tobin enjoyed how laid back the girl was, but how eager she was for knowledge and adventure. What she liked most, was that for the afternoon, no other thoughts seemed to cross her mind besides what she was going to do with the defender next.

Lindsey, however, was busy thinking of something else. Because she only knew Tobin (not even that well at first) when she first arrived last season, it wasn’t hard to pick up on how quickly Laure had hit it off with Tobin. Of course, at first it was getting to know each other as friends, but towards the end of last season, the two seemed too close for simply ‘friends’ title. Then again, Lindsey could have been reading it wrong. Every time she asked, Tobin shook her head like it was nothing, and Tobin could possibly be the worst liar in the world, so obviously there wasn’t anything going on. If anything, Lindsey concluded, it must be on Laure’s end.

“Glad you had fun while me and Koso were out she finally replied.

“Hope you didn’t do anything illegal,” Tobin teased in response as her phone rang. She pulled it out of her back pocket and swiped the answer button without looking at the caller ID. “Hello?”

“Hey Tobs.”

Everything that Tobin seemed to forget that afternoon came back to her as soon as she heard the rasp in the voice. She could see the blue eyes and the brown hair clear as day. “Alex,” she said, walking away from the kitchen. Lindsey only watched her walk away for a moment before going back to what she was doing. She shrugged it off, knowing Tobin and Alex were pretty close anyway.

Alex couldn’t help but smile at the sound of the voice. “You’re not busy or anything, are you?” She asked, suddenly realizing Tobin could have been in a meeting or something. “I could totally call back or something if you are.”

“No,” Tobin answered hastily, not wanting Alex to hang up. “No, it’s fine. I just got back to my apartment, actually. You have perfect timing.”

The forward relaxed, propping herself up on the couch. “How’s Paris?”

“Great,” the midfielder answered honestly, thinking about her most recent adventures. “What about Seattle?”

“Currently being rained on,” Alex laughed, shaking her head.

Tobin’s insides warmed at the sound of that laugh. She missed her so much. Then she remembered why Alex was in Seattle to begin with. “How’s Servando?”

Hearing Tobin bring up Servando was strange to Alex. She didn’t want to talk about Servando. She wanted to talk to Tobin about Paris and missing her. “He’s good,” she replied after a moment. “Things are getting better, I think.”

The older girl felt something tug at her heart with she heard the word ‘better’. Better meant things were getting fixed between the two. Better meant whatever was in Portland was going to drift away. Better meant Alex would stay with Servando. “Glad to hear it,” she forced out.

“What have you been up to lately?” Alex asked curiously, trying to steer away at the subject of Servando.

“I’ve been training, but PSG hasn’t really wanted to play me because of the foot,” Tobin explained, sighing.

“Your foot still?” Alex frowned. “What’s wrong with it, Tobs? Have you gone to the doctor?”

Tobin couldn’t help but smile at the thought of Alex mothering her even though they were an ocean apart. “No, it’s fine. Don’t worry about it, Lex. It’ll heal up in no time.”

“You’ve had that injury for weeks,” Alex pointed out.

“I played the semis and the final with this foot, remember? It just needs a little more time,” she insisted.

“If you say so,” the striker sighed, giving up. She knew Tobin would play until someone forced her off the field so there wasn’t a point in arguing anymore.

A moment of silence passed between them. There were words on the tip of Tobin’s tongue, but she was too afraid to say them. Was it too soon? Would it sound silly? She wasn’t sure. She felt as if the words were caught in her throat and there was nothing she could do to force them out. Fear was holding her back.

“I miss you,” Alex said so softly it was almost a whisper.

There it was. The words Tobin wanted to say, but thought she’d feel stupid later for saying so. They weren’t stupid. Not when it came to Alex.

“I miss you too,” Tobin answered, closing her eyes. “Just a few months, I promise.”

“A few months is a long time,” Alex commented, her voice sounding far away.

“It’s worth it,” the midfielder promised. _It’s always worth it when it comes to you_ , she didn’t say.

Alex felt a longing stronger than she had previously. She wanted Tobin right there with her in the room. She didn’t want to hear her through a phone; she wanted Tobin’s voice clear as day right next to her. She wanted those tan arms around her, keeping her secured in their lock. She wanted that smile to be directed at her and caused by her. She wanted her to come back.

Tobin was feeling similar things. She wanted Alex’s blazing blue eyes to be staring at her as they often did. She wanted to fall asleep in the sound of her breathing. She wanted to be able to hold Alex tightly and not worry about anything else. She wanted their summer back. She wanted whatever they had in Portland. She wanted Alex to visit.

“Hey, you should come see me one time,” Tobin suggested out of the blue, then immediately regretted it.

“Really?” Alex asked, getting excited that Tobin was talking about visits this early after her departure.

The older girl immediately tried to cover her ass. “Well, I know you’re busy with all your events and stuff, so...if you ever had time--”

“I’ll find time,” the forward promised, a grin spreading across her face from ear to ear. “When I get a few days to a week off, I’ll try to book a flight.”

“Seriously?” Tobin gaped, unable to believe what she was hearing. She could imagine Alex in her and Lindsey’s apartment right now, probably trying to steal back her clothes that Tobin took in the first place. She held in a chuckle.

“Yeah, I mean...if that’s okay with you.”

“Of course it is. I get to see my best friend!”

_Best friend._

Because at the end of the day, that’s what they were. Whatever else happened, they were best friends first.

“It’s settled then,” Alex confirmed. “I’ll look through my schedule.” She didn’t even bother to think of Servando at this moment. All she could focus on was the promise of seeing Tobin sooner than she expected.

“Great,” Tobin smiled like a fool. She couldn’t wait. Alex would be with her in Paris. They’d go around the city of love. It seemed promising and full of life. From the kitchen, she heard Lindsey calling her for dinner. Her smile slowly faded as she let out a sigh. “I gotta go. Linds made dinner and it’s time to eat.”

Alex’s face dropped, feeling like Tobin was being taken away from her all too soon. Their conversation was way too short for her liking. She wanted to spend hours on the phone with Tobin, ignoring the fact that her phone bill would run high because of it. “Okay, bye Tobin.”

“Bye Alex, we’ll talk again soon,” Tobin promised, hanging up. She left her phone in her room before joining Lindsey in the living room with the food set out on the coffee table.

“So, tell me about your day,” Lindsey prompted as Tobin took her seat.

Tobin looked at her for a moment. “What about it?”

“Uh...with Laure?” Lindsey raised an eyebrow at her, wondering how clueless her friend could be.

“Oh.”

Tobin’s afternoon adventure in France seemed like ages ago after talking to Alex. She had completely forgotten about Laure in that short amount of time. She was in deep, but she didn’t even realize how deep.

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's hard being away from each other..especially when it feels like one of you has just come back.

Tobin jogged back into the locker room after an intense practice, but she wasn’t even sweating much. She always seemed to have energy available to her unlike most athletes, who were sweating and tired by the end of the day. Just as the midfielder tugged the hair tie out out of her hair, she felt a pat on her back.

“ _Bon travail aujourd'hui_ ,” Laure smiled, commending Tobin for her hard work.

Tobin grinned at her as she felt around in her bag for a spare t-shirt. “ _Merci, toi aussi_!”

“You will be on the pitch again for a match in no time!”

She chuckled softly, pulling the shirt out of her back once her hands skimmed the fabric. “Hopefully. I mean, my foot’s fine. I’m totally ready to play.”

Laure laughed as she striped out of her practice shirt. “I’m sure it is. It plays like it is just fine.”

“Heath, Boulleau, let’s go out to eat I’m starving,” Kosse whined, holding stomach with a pout.

“Where to?” Laure asked, throwing her shirt into her duffel bag.

“How about Cafe de Flore?” Tobin suggested, as she always did.

“We always go there,” the defender pointed out.

Lindsey smirked, appearing behind Koso. “Oh, I know why Tobin wants to go there.”

“Yeah, cause there food’s great,” Tobin answered, ignoring Lindsey’s bait.

Koso and Lindsey only laughed while Laure sat there confused. “What am I missing?”

“There’s this cute waitress that has a little crush on Tobin,” Lindsey explained.

“She’s cute!” Koso exclaimed, her eyes brightening.

Laure gave a light hearted laugh. “You’ve only been here for less than a month and you’re already finding girls?”

Tobin grinned, playing along. “Well, you know me.” She brushed off her shoulder, chuckling a little.

The smaller girl giggled at her antics and then looked at the other two. “I want to see this girl. Let’s go.”

“It’s settled!” Lindsey clapped her hands together then skipped off.

Tobin only laughed, turning back to her locker. “You guys are crazy,” she muttered.

 

-

 

Alex’s feet were pounding on the treadmill with every step. Her earphones were tightly snuggled into her ears as she had music blasting up one hundred percent. She looked to see how long she had been running and was pleased that she was nearing three miles. Smirking, the striker made the treadmill faster, her legs going faster as her arms pumped harder. Although they were technically in an off season, Alex made it her duty to stay in shape no matter what. She had to, especially with her MCL injury back in August. That couldn’t happen again. She had to get World Cup ready, and she planned on  playing every single game in between now and then.

Just then, her phone began to ring, interrupting her music. She frowned, hitting the ‘answer’ button as she realized it was Dawn’s number.

“Hello?” she breathed into the phone, still trying to keep up with the treadmill.

“Alex lovely, how are you? I hope you’ve been staying in shape,” Dawn greeted on the other end.

Alex managed a strangled chuckle. “Kind of...doing that….now.”

“Oh, I’ve called you while you’re working out!” Dawn laughed at her realization as Alex only rolled her eyes with a small smile. “Stop for a moment, will you? I’ve got news for you.”

The forward did as she was told and slowed it down to a walk while she took a second to catch her breath. “So, what’s up?”

“Tom is usually the one to inform you of this, but he’s currently unavailable at the moment,” Dawn explained. “but there will be a friendly for sure towards the end of October.”

Alex stopped her treadmill, a grin on her face. “Really?! That’s great!”

“Indeed it is,” the national team trainer agreed. “For now, that’s all I can confirm. We may have another two around the same time, but Tom still has to confirm those - that’s actually what he’s doing now. All I’m doing is calling our regulars to inform them before we release the roster.”

“Sounds awesome Dawn,” Alex told her, then bit her lip as she thought of something. Well, more like someone. “Hey...do you know if any overseas players are getting called for this friendly?”

There was silence on the other end as Dawn thought for a moment. “I believe Tom is trying to work something out for those players, along with players who are in season at their respective schools.”

“Okay,” she nodded, a grin eating her face. “Thanks Dawn.”

“I’ll see you soon, Alex. Get back to that work out!”

Alex laughed. “Yes ma’am!’ She hung up and hit the buttons on the treadmill excitedly, switching her pace into a run. There was hope to see Tobin much sooner than she expected. She just needed PSG to let her play.

 

-

 

The group of four arrived to the small cafe and immediately took a seat inside. They all grabbed menus eagerly, looking for something filling. They sat down with Lindsey and Koso on one side, and Tobin and Laure on the other.

“Tobin, nothing here is going to fill up my stomach!” Koso whined, pouting as she flipped the pages of the menu.

“Eat a sandwich,” the midfielder suggested. “Lindsey’s the one who talked us all into going.”

“You didn’t object,” Lindsey countered, looking at Koso.

“I am now,” the Swedish woman groaned.

“So Tobin,” Laure said casually, her eyes still scanning the menu. “Where is  this waitress of yours?”

Tobin shrugged, her eyes leaving her menu and taking a quick scan around. “I don’t even know if she’s working today.

“Found her,” Lindsey chimed, and the two across from her turned to see the smiling brunette making her way over.

“ _Elle est belle_ ,” Laure whispered to Tobin, who only rolled her eyes in response.

“ _Bon après-midi_ ,” Christelle grinned, her eyes focused on Tobin. “Cannot get enough of this place, can you?”

“I told you it’s my favorite place to eat,” she smiled in response.

Lindsey held in her smirk and nudged Koso, who was covering her mouth to prevent giggles. They exchange their hellos as well as they ordered their drinks. Christelle would always give Tobin an extra glance, or a small smile in between taking their orders for drinks, to which Laure quickly picked up on. She seemed to take a disliking to this girl, but no one picked up on it.

 _“Bonjour, je m’appelle Laure_ ,” the only French player greeted, a smile that was a bit forced appearing on her face.

Christelle nodded in approval. “ _Je vous connais. Vous êtes sur l'équipe nationale, n’est pas_?” ( _I know you. You’re on the national team, aren’t you_?)

The defender raised her eyebrows in surprise. “ _Ouai, je le suis_.”

After another moment of short conversation exchanged between the two, Christelle walked off with their orders but not without her eyes fluttering to Tobin as she turned around. Koso leaned over and patted Laure’s shoulder.

“Well look at you, being recognized and all,” she teased.

“Whatever,” Laure rolled her eyes, shrugging it off. “I’m not that well known.”

As if on cue, a pair of little girls came up to their table shyly, asking for a picture with Laure. Their parents stood a few feet away, watching the exchange when Laure easily agreed. They took pictures with her and Laure even gave the girls a hug, watching their faces light up. The three other PSG women watched on, smiling in approval.

“Ha,” Lindsey scoffed. “‘Not well known’ my ass!”

“I’m not,” Laure insisted, shrugging her shoulders.

“So modest,” Lindsey shook her head, returning to her menu so she could figure out what to eat.

Tobin didn’t add her commentary, though. As she watched Christelle recognize Laure and those two little girls approach someone who was probably a role model to them, she noticed just how humble and down to earth Laure was. Of course, Tobin had noticed this before, but it seemed clearer to her now, and it reminded her of someone back at home. Someone who was deemed the “face of women’s soccer” in the states. Someone who meant more to Tobin than she could ever try to explain. She reminded her of Alex.

Laure felt eyes on her and turned to Tobin, quirking an eyebrow. “Tobin? Are you alright?”

“Hmm?” Tobin was brought back out of her daze, her vision blurring a moment as she swore she saw blue eyes, but they disappeared. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

“You were looking at me weird,” the defender stated.

“I was?” Tobin’s cheeks tinted pink at the thought of Laure catching her staring. “Sorry.”

Laure laughed softly, patting Tobin’s arm gently. “It’s okay Tobs.”

Tobin returned the smile, feeling comfortable around her friend. Though it was no doubt she missed Portland, this was something that was worth coming back to. She thought about Alex and what she could be up to, and her thoughts turned sour when she reminded herself that Alex was in Seattle with Servando.

 

Throughout the rest of lunch, Laure seemed very interested to talking to Tobin for majority of the time, but of course the oblivious midfielder didn’t pick up on any of it. She also didn’t notice it would tend to happen when Christelle was around. Koso and Lindsey exchanged glances for majority of the meal and when either Laure or Tobin asked what they were for, they only shook their heads and laughed, leaving the two across from them confused.

 

-

 

“Babe I’m home!” Servando called as he entered the apartment, dripping in sweat.

Alex grinned, newly showered. “Hi Serv, guess what!”

“What?” he asked, kissing her on the cheek. He chuckled at how excited

“I have a friendly next month!” she exclaimed. “I don’t know specific details on it yet cause Tom’s working out a few things, but I get to play!”

“That’s great Al,” he smiled, but then it faltered.

Alex immediately noticed. “What’s wrong?” she frowned, expecting Servando’s excitement to last a little longer than the .02 seconds it did.

“Nothing,” he shook his head, putting his practice bag down. “It’s just...you’ll be away again.”

“It’s only one game,” the striker insisted, leaving out the part that Dawn informed her that there could be two more matches happening. “I’ll be gone for like a week, it won’t be that bad.”

Servando sighed. “You’re already leaving for California soon. And then you’ll be in New York. And then you’re off to Hawaii for Abby’s wedding…”

Alex shook her head, sighing. “This is my life, Servando. I can’t just stay home all day and do nothing. I have an alumni reunion, appearances I have to make...and I can’t miss Abby and Sarah’s wedding, you know that.”

This was the reason they had started to fall apart in the first place. Alex was always gone and Servando almost tired of waiting. Surely if he wasn’t willing to wait any longer she should let go, right? No. She didn’t. Instead she let things fall further as she found comfort and peace in someone else who understood her life, someone who possibly lived more of her life with her than Servando had in the past two years. It wasn’t his fault, not really. It wasn’t like he could drop everything and follow her around. It wouldn’t be fair to him. But a major part of their relationship was the fact Alex would indeed be gone for long periods of time and be far away on constant adventures; it came with her job. The question was: Was it really worth it in the end for Servando? It certainly wasn’t always easy for Alex to be away from him. Servando seemed to struggle with keeping his loneliness inside.

“I know,” he let out a sighed. “I know Al, it’s just...so hard to know you’re not here.”

“It’s hard for me too,” Alex spoke up. “You’re not the only one who doesn’t like being away from each other.”

“You seemed fine in Portland with your best friend,” Servando pointed out a bit harshly.

The empty hole in Alex seemed ever present as Servando brought up her time in Portland with Tobin. Suddenly, she wished she could easily just walk out the door and drive to Portland, where Tobin could lounge around. But no. Tobin was in another country across the ocean leaving Alex to pick up the pieces of her relationship that she wanted to save for some reason.

Instead of saying anything related to Tobin, she answered, “We were three hours away from each other, Servando. It wasn’t like we were on different coasts.” Or different continents, she didn’t say.

“Calling a few times a week couldn’t hurt,” he said, staring at her daring her to say different.

Alex opened her mouth, but then closed it. If she was being honest, she didn’t want to call Servando those days. In fact, calling him didn’t even cross her mind. For her, it had been all Tobin all the time, and she didn’t mind that one bit.

“Exactly,” Servando confirmed when Alex had nothing to say. He picked up his practice bag and began to make his way to the bathroom.

“We’re stronger than this,” the brunette said to his back.

“Are we?” he asked, stopping for a moment before making the rest of the way to the door and slamming it shut.

Alex closed her eyes, pressing her fingers to her temples. This wasn’t what she was expecting to happen in Seattle. She was ready to fix things, even though there was a girl she couldn’t get off of her mind. A girl whose touch still lingered after it’d been long gone. Whose voice still whispered in her ear.

And even though Alex didn’t know it, she missed Tobin so much more than she had ever missed Servando before.

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Old friends brought to new light while old midfielders are sent over 2,000 miles away.

In the following days, Tobin found herself spending plenty of time with Laure. She spent time with Koso and Lindsey too, of course, but Laure was someone who Tobin couldn’t seem to get enough of. Whether it be because she reminded Tobin of Alex because of her popularity in France or Kelley because of her height and position on the field, or even just because she was that great to be around, she didn’t find herself questioning it at all. Being with Laure helped Tobin not miss home quite as much as she did. It made her not feel bad for not being able to train with the national team a few weeks ago. Tobin seemed lighter with Laure, and she enjoyed that. She was definitely great company, and she never pushed Tobin to talk about anything she didn’t want to.

“Oh look, you’re actually here,” Lindsey joked as she entered their small apartment to find Tobin lounging on the couch.

Tobin chuckled softly. “What are you talking about? I’m here just as much as you are.”

The blonde hummed, rolling her eyes. “Right. Why aren’t you out or something?”

“Am I not allowed to stay here and enjoy some down time?”

“Nope,” Lindsey grinned, causing the midfielder to laugh.

“Well, I had plans with Laure but she had a last minute photoshoot so here I am,” the older girl explained, propping herself up on the couch.

“I see,” Lindsey nodded slowly, tossing her bag to the side and walking over to the couch. “You and Laure have been spending a lot of time together.”

Tobin shrugged, not thinking much of it. “Yeah, I guess. We’re kind of friends, you know.”

“I know,” the forward laughed, sitting next to her fellow American. “But, are you guys like...a thing?”

The older girl gave Lindsey a look. “What? No,” she shook her head, laughing. “No Linds, we’re just friends. She’s cool, and I guess she kind of reminds me of home.”

“And I don’t?” the younger girl scoffed, feigning hurt. When she received a hit on her arm she laughed, but then turned serious again. “Really?”

“Yeah,” Tobin nodded. “She reminds me of friends back home and she’s just really easy to talk to.” _She reminds me of my best friend that I have feelings for and kissed back at home_ , she decided not to add.

“That’s good then,” Lindsey nodded. “But if it ever turns into anything else, you’d tell me, right?”

“Sure Linds,” she patted the girl on the back. “Sure.”

 

Tobin had never really thought of Laure in _that_ way. Yes, her teammate was pretty, and yes, she had a truly stunning personality, but she didn’t think of her _that_ way. She was too caught up in Alex to see anyone else. But now that Lindsey had said something, Tobin’s mind couldn’t help but wonder about Laure in that way. What would it be like? She was sure they’d have tons of fun, and that they’d be true to each other no matter what. But then, she was reminded of Laure’s fame in France and how humble she remained, and it reminded of her Alex once again, leaving a sense of longing in her.

 

“Tobin..” Lindsey said slowly, holding up her phone. “Are you going to answer this or..?”

Tobin had been so lost in her thoughts that she hadn’t even heard her phone ring. “Oh, yeah sure. Sorry,” she mumbled as she grabbed her phone and answered. “Hello?”

“Ah Tobin, how’s Paris?”

A smile appeared when Tobin recognized her Coach’s voice. “Hey Tom, it’s great.”

“Good good, glad it’s going well over there,” Tom replied. Tobin decided to leave out the fact that she wasn’t playing as much, but of course he most likely already knew that. “I have some exciting news for you!”

“What’s up?” Tobin asked, leaning back onto the couch and propping her feet up onto the coffee table.

“We’re set to have three friendlies in October,” Tom explained. “And you’ll be on the roster.”

The midfielder grinned, always excited for a chance to play with the national team. “Really? That’s awesome! When are they?” Maybe Alex wouldn’t have to fly over to Paris. Maybe the friendly would be able to save them the cost of travel.

“They’re all towards the end of October. I’ve talked to your coaches over there and they’ve only agreed to let you go for the last two matches. It seems you have a match around the time of the first one and they won’t allow you to miss it.”

Tobin’s smile faded a little at the news that she wouldn’t see Alex longer than she wanted to because of her commitment to the league. “Oh, well I guess I’ll be seeing you at the end of October then.”

“You too. We’ll keep you updated when it gets closer to the friendlies. Take care over there and have an authentic croissant for me,” Tom joked.

Tobin shook her head, rolling her eyes at her new coach’s antics. “You got it Tom,” she answered. “Goodbye.”

“Friendlies?” Lindsey guessed as Tobin hung up.

She grinned. “Two of them in October.” But it wasn’t the matches she was necessarily excited for.

-

 

Things were rough between Alex and Servando since their argument about her traveling so much. They still slept in the same bed, but conversations were shorter and affection was less frequent. Alex attempted to get Servando to loosen up about it or even get him to forget about it for a little while, but his resolve never seemed to falter. But there was something besides Alex being away that was getting to him and it took Alex two days after the argument to figure it out.

Servando was hardly getting any playing time. It wasn’t something they had talked about, but it was evident. Even if he was on the roster for a game, he was rarely ever used, and it was getting to him. Things were falling apart over the summer, but Alex could still read him pretty well, and seeing that he wasn’t really playing was frustrating him. It also didn’t help that his girlfriend was a regular on the Women’s National Team, scored 28 goals the previous year, had an olympic medal and was pretty famous in the world of soccer. But this was never confronted by either of them. Alex was too afraid to bring it up and Servando never wanted to share his thoughts on it.

 

A few days after the argument, Alex woke up to an empty bed. After lying on her back for a few moments, she realized that this was strange. Today’s supposed to be his rest day, she realized, sitting up to look for any traces of him gone. There wasn’t a note or text to clue her in on where he had gone, so she frowned as she left the bedroom and walked into an empty living room and then empty kitchen. The coffee maker had been used and his mug sat in the sink. Servando typically didn’t drink coffee before his morning training. Where could he have gone?

Alex finally decided to shoot him a quick text asking where he was. She received her reply almost an hour later.

 

_**Sorry, got called in to a last minute meeting with Sounders. Be home soon.** _

 

“Hmm,” Alex hummed as she read the text again in confusion. The Sounds typically never had last minute meetings with players. If they ever had meetings, it was always scheduled ahead. She wondered what this could’ve meant as she busied herself with checking her calendar for important dates and flipping through TV channels and texting Sydney because Sydney always entertained her.

After what seemed like an eternity, the front door finally opened.

“Serv, what took you so long?” Alex asked, getting up from her spot in the living room and walking over to him.

Servando stayed quiet, his eyes not quite meeting hers. He shut the door behind him and tossed his keys onto the table. “Had to think for a little.”

The forward realized that whatever happened couldn’t have been good news. She could see it in his expression and hear it in his tone of voice. “What happened? Why was there a meeting?” The midfielder’s eyes were on the floor and his jaw was tight. He didn’t answer the question. “Serv?”

He looked up to meet Alex’s gaze. “They traded me to the Dynamo.”

Alex blinked in surprise. Out of all things she expected to hear, none of them were those words. “Houston?” Servando nodded. “Oh…”

In the moment of silence that followed, it sunk in for Alex. The Seattle Sounders traded her boyfriend to the _Houston Dynamo_. That was nowhere near Portland. That was nowhere near where she had called home for the past few years. That was in Texas, which quite frankly, seemed like foreign territory to Alex.

“Did they tell you why?” she asked, biting her lip.

He nodded, looking more deflated as he explained, “They wanted Adam Moffat.”

“They got Moffat?” she asked, trying not to gape.

“Yeah, Moffat for me.”

Instead of saying something else, Alex kept her mouth shut. Adam Moffat was without a doubt an incredible player. So yes, it meant he was better than Servando. Why would the Dynamo like someone like Moffat go for...him? Of course, she would never speak those words or voice those thoughts to Servando, who was having a pretty shitty day as it was. But this trade didn’t only affect him.

“When are they making you move for sure?”

“In a week.”

“Just before I leave,” Alex commented.

“Just before you leave,” he repeated in confirmation.

She bit her lip. Typically, it was given wherever Servando went, Alex would go as well during her off season. But recently, with their hostile conversation about her travels, she wasn’t so sure. Did it mean another break? Or would she just try again? And what about Portland? She always liked the idea of seeing her Thorns teammates who still stayed in the city for off season. Now she couldn’t really do that anymore if she was going to Texas. Was Servando even considering letting her move in with him again?

“Are you coming with me?” Servando asked, taking Alex by surprise.

It was never a question for them. It was the first time Servando formally asked. She’d always had an unsaid invite to live with him, but now things had changed. And what also changed was Alex didn’t have an answer.

She opened her mouth, only to close it again.

Servando picked up on her hesitation. “Give me an answer at the beginning of next week.” He walked past her and into their shared bedroom, closing the door shut.

Alex checked the time and picked up her phone, dialing away.

 

-

 

Tobin was in the midst of a long, hot shower for no specific reason. Practice wasn’t too cruel to her that day, but she just needed somewhere to be alone in the house. Lindsey was noisily busying herself in the living room doing God knows what, so she had to find an alternative. She let the water meet her skin. Thought didn’t consume her. All she would focus on was the water meeting her body and the refreshing feeling it gave her. It was like sleeping, but being aware that she wasn’t thinking.

When she stepped out of the shower and put some sweats and a t-shirt on, she checked her phone, surprised that she had a missed called. Frowning, she checked to see it was Alex and she had left a message. Without hesitation she listened to the voicemail.

“ _Hey Tobin...I’m going to guess you’re busy and that’s fine, but...I got some interesting news today. I thought you would want to know. Alright..call me back when you can._ ”

A thousand things were flying through her mind at the moment. Was Alex hurt? Was there something wrong? Did someone hurt her in anyway? Worst case scenarios played in her  mind as the phone rang. “Pick up...pick up…”

“Hello?”

“Alex!” she exclaimed, jumping up at the sound of her voice. “What happened? Are you okay?”

“What? I’m fine,” Alex told her. “I’m fine…”

“Then what is it? What news are you talking about?” Tobin asked, relaxing a little at the assurance that Alex was not hurt.

“Servando got traded.”

“Okay…” The older girl wasn’t sure how that was relevant. “To where?”

“Houston. He’s moving to Houston.” she explained. “In a week.”

Tobin was silent for a moment, then blinked. “Oh,” she said once she realized what it meant. “Are you...moving with him?”

“I don’t know. We’re kind of not okay right now.”

The midfielder found herself getting protective of Alex. “What’d he do to you?”

“He didn’t do anything to me,” she said quickly, noticing the change in Tobin’s tone. “We just got into an argument.”

“Over?”

 _You...sort of_ , Alex thought, running a hand through her hair. She replied, “Me being away so much. He doesn’t like it.”

Tobin frowned. “But that’s your job Lex..”

“I know that,” she stated calmly. “He knows that. He doesn’t understand it.”

The midfielder already knew Servando didn’t quite understand that Alex’s lifestyle required a lot of traveling. And if it was up to her, Alex would’ve said goodbye to Servando a long time ago. But it wasn’t up to her, it was up to Alex. And Alex decides to stick with him, no matter how many times he complains about her being away. No matter how many of what Alex calls “heated discussions” they get into, she’ll always go back. Tobin was sure she knew the answer to the following question she was about to ask.

“Do you still love him?” There was a pause. There was usually never a pause when it came to her love for Servando. “Alex?”

“I’m not sure,” the forward whispered, pressing a hand against the wall and putting all her weight against it for support.

Tobin blinked, unsure of what was happening. Ever since she met Alex, the girl always made it clear she loved her boyfriend. She always stood up for him no matter what, even when people said she was the better soccer player. “You’re not sure?”

“I know I came back to Seattle to figure this out, but it hasn’t been any easier being with him in person.”

“How long do you have to decide?”

“The beginning of next week.”

“You have a few days, Lex. Talk to him, talk to your sister, talk to me again if you need to. Really think about this, okay?” Tobin hoped that this meant that Alex wasn’t in love with him anymore. She hoped that this meant the striker was in love with her best friend.

“Okay,” Alex mumbled. “Hey...are you coming in October?”

Tobin grinned. “You ruined my surprise.”

The younger girl laughed, rolling her eyes. “You’re an idiot, Tobs.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Calling your best friend late at night might help you decide your future...and confess some things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And this is where events begin to change. This is no longer in order of what happened in real life due to the fact I need them to fit the story properly.

It was the first game Tobin actually suited up for. It felt good wearing her PSG uniform and lacing up her cleats. Finally the staff had agreed to put her on the roster for the game, and her teammates were happy for the decision as well. She didn’t play the full 90, coming on as a sub, but she played with everything she had for the time that she was on. Her right foot behaved for the most part, but was a bit sore when she walked off at the end of her game.

“ _Bon match_ ,” Laure called, jogging over to Tobin after the game.

Tobin mustered a weak smile. “ _Merci_ , you too.” She patted Laure’s back as they walked across the field and to the locker rooms.

The score was 3-0 and if there was one thing anyone needed to know about the midfielder, it was that Tobin Heath did not like losing, or tying. She stalked off into the locker room and immediately grabbed her things, not in much mood for conversation. Her teammates seemed to notice and gave her space, with the occasional pat on the shoulder and utterance of how well Tobin did on the field. She politely smiled and mumbled a “ _merci_ ” before continuing to change. She slipped on a t-shirt and jeans before grabbing her bag and exiting the crowded space. Once the night air hit her she let out a long sigh.

“It was not our night,” she heard from behind her. Tobin turned to find Lauren a few paces behind, also changed with her bag over her shoulder. “You did play well.”

“Not well enough if we didn’t lower the scoring gap,” the midfielder shrugged, stopping to wait for the defender to catch up.

Laure shook her head. “You are not the only one on the field, Tobin. We all have to put in work. Do not worry, we still have time to figure things out.”

“You’re right,” Tobin hummed, but she was still bummed out from the loss.

The smaller girl picked up on Tobin’s vibe, knowing the girl wasn’t fond of losing. She nudged her lightly. “Let’s go grab dinner,” she suggested.

Tobin thought for a moment, trying to remember if she made plans with Koso and Lindsey. “Okay, let’s go.”

 

An hour later later, Tobin found herself roaming the streets of Paris with Laure, her stomach filled from a small restaurant Laure drove them to from the stadium. For the most part they were left alone, but of course one person had managed to recognize Laure Boulleau and asked for a picture. The scene was all too familiar to Tobin. Alex was getting recognized here and there, and so when the fan asked if Tobin could take the picture, she kindly obliged, snapping two just in case they didn’t like the first one.

It was dark with lights lining their path, but she was more content with a full stomach and good company. The loss didn’t bother her as much. The small girl was able to make things that seemed important to Tobin not so important when she looked it at her way. She was laughing at something Laure said before the fell into a comfortable silence.

The two finally reached the bridge on the Seine River, and although there wasn’t a nice view of the water at night, you could still make it out and there were street lights that reflected off the river, making it a pretty nice view. They both leaned against the railing, looking down under them.

“Do you miss America?” Laure suddenly asked, breaking the quiet scene that had fallen upon them.

Tobin looked at her in surprise. The question was random, but it wasn’t past Laure to be the random type. “Uh..yeah, I guess I do.”

“Was it difficult to re-sign another year?”

“Sort of,” Tobin admitted, shoving one hand into her pocket. “I mean..I love playing here. I’ve definitely improved by playing here, but…” She trailed off, her thoughts immediately going back to the small apartment she had called home for less than a month.

“But there were things holding you back,” Laure filled in.

The taller girl nodded, letting out a sigh. “Yes..there was something holding me back.” _Someone_ , she thought in her head.

“Was it your national team and the American team?” she questioned curiously. “I heard that PSG wanted to sign you for longer, but your federation would not allow it.” She let out a melodic laugh, one Tobin had become accustomed to quickly last year.

A chuckle escaped from Tobin’s lips as she shook her head. “No no, it wasn’t the national team. You’re right - US Soccer only lets me sign for a year. I don’t blame them, though. We only have an off year once every few years and every other year is either World Cup ready or Olympic ready.”

“What about your American team? The Thorns?”

A faint smile remained on Tobin’s lips as she thought about the team and the ups and downs and the celebrations and losses. “I can’t leave that team behind. I joined mid-season and it was still a hell of a season. It would be amazing for me to play for them again, especially if I was able to join them at the start of the season.”

Laure nodded, taking it in. “But was there something else?”

Tobin stayed silent for a moment as she thought about what to say. “There was...a feeling that was telling me to stay.”

“But you came anyway.”

“I did.”

“ _Porquoi_? You wanted to start the season in America.”

 _Because Alex didn’t fight hard enough for me to stay, and I didn’t fight hard enough to let her know I wanted to stay_ , she thought. “Logically, France was the better option. I become better here and it’s too good to pass up.”

Laure nodded, and let silence fall between them once again as their conversation sunk in. “Well, I’m glad you’re here,” she finally replied. “France hasn’t been nearly as fun without you.”

Tobin smiled at her. “It’s good to know I’ve been missed.”

“There is no one quite like you,” the defender admitted, turning to face Tobin now.

The taller noticed that something in the air had shifted. The context of their conversation had changed and she wasn’t sure if she could keep up. She turned to face Laure and knew something was different about the words she said. There was an underlying tone to it, but Tobin couldn’t seem to catch it. “Really?”

“Really.”

It was only then that Tobin noticed how close they had gotten. If she or Laure moved their fingers another inch, they’d be lacing their fingers together. If she moved a little to her right, her arm would press against Laure’s. It was something most people wouldn’t pick up, but Tobin did. There was something Laure was hinting at and Tobin felt like she knew what it was. They’d been looking at each other for a moment and they weren’t sure what to do. Laure was unsure of whether to press for more and Tobin wasn’t even sure how she felt about what was happening and what Laure felt.

“...I should head back,” Tobin finally said, turning away from Laure as a way of breaking the moment. She ran a hand through her hair. “Lindsey’s probably waiting for me.”

“Do you need me to take you?” Laure asked, blushing slightly at the intensity of the moment.

Tobin nodded, clearing her throat to try to shake off whatever just occurred. “ _S’il vous plait._ ”

“Wait, Tobin.”

“Hmm?”

“Are we...cool?”

Tobin looked at the girl. She had an apprehensive look, and Tobin immediately knew that look. It was the look she had the morning after Alex had kissed her. She knew Laure was scared she’d changed everything between them, but she smiled and patted her shoulder to comfort her. “Oui oui oui!”

Laure laughed, visibly relaxing. “ _Bien_!”

And as they walked back to Laure’s car, Tobin wondered if their moment changed anything at all, because that summer had definitely changed everything about her and Alex.

  
  


Alex’s family was no help whatsoever. She had tried Jen and she had tried Jeri, but both of them said it was up to her. And they also asked what was holding her back then, and she wasn’t about to tell them about her and Tobin’s...whatever it was. She thought about calling Kelley, but the freckled girl knew her best friends too well to not question either of them about Portland. If Alex didn’t give answers, she’d go to Tobin and who knew what Tobin would say. What would she say? Alex then considered calling Abby, but the woman was finally getting some down time with her fiance and she didn’t want to interrupt them with her issues. Sydney was also an option, but then quickly scratched out when Alex remembered how inquisitive the girl got.

So that’s how Alex ended up calling the first number she did upon finding out about the trade a few days later.

“Hello?” A soft mumble from the other line. It was late at night in Paris and Tobin had been in the middle of sleeping when her phone rang too loud for her liking.

Alex frowned, immediately feeling guilty. “Shit Tobs, you were sleeping weren’t you? I knew I should’ve called you a few hours ago!”

At the sound of the raspy voice she knew so well, Tobin sat up so quickly she almost dropped the phone. Her eyes were wide open and she all her attention was focused on the person on the other line. “No Lex, it’s okay. You’re okay.”

“You were sleeping.”

“And now I’m not,” Tobin shrugged, though the girl couldn’t see her. “Now what’s up?”

Guilt still tugged at Alex. _She could have an early practice tomorrow, stupid._ “We can talk about it tomorrow.”

“Alex come on,” the midfielder said, exasperated. “You already called me. Just talk.”

“Okay,” Alex sighed. “I just...I still don’t know what to do.”

“Well, who did you talk to?”

“Jen and Jeri. They weren’t much help.”

“What did they say?”

“It’s up to me. That’s it.”

Tobin laughed softly. “That’s not very helpful advice.”

“Why do you think I called you?” Alex smiled.

“I was hoping it was because you missed me,” Tobin teased, her voice still tired from her slumber.

The striker closed her eyes, imaging a half-asleep Tobin in her bedroom and bit her lip and whispered, “Maybe a little.” _There’s that, and then there’s the need I have to hear your voice._

Even from across the ocean, the raspy whisper sent shivers down Tobin’s smile. Cool it Tobs, you’re lucky she can’t see you. “Only a little?”

“Maybe.”

“I’ll take that as no.”

“Whatever Heath.”

Tobin smiled, wanting to continue a little longer with mindless banter, but remembered Alex had a decision to make. “Okay so...can I ask you something?”

“Go for it.”

“Where would you go if you didn’t move to Houston? You know, aside from all the places you had to go.”

Alex bit her lip for a moment. She’d actually thought about this before, but never shared the idea with Tobin. She knew if she wouldn’t answer, Tobin would assume something was wrong so she finally spoke. “I’d go back to Portland.”

“And what would you do in Portland?”

“Find a place for two..or maybe end up renting out the apartments we stayed in for season.”

Tobin’s brows furrowed, pondering if she heard the girl correctly. “A place for two?” When Alex hummed a confirmation with no details, she pressed on. “Why do you need a place for two?”

“What? Would you rather sleep on the streets when you come back home?” Alex teased. It was a dangerous gamble, but she was taking it anyway. In the weeks nearing the end of the season, she had started to consider if she should forget Servando altogether and stay in Portland. It was no secret that she had fallen in love with the soccer city, and when Tobin had arrived in July, it became her duty to show her why she fell in love with it.

It wasn’t hard for the midfielder to love Portland too, but that may be due to Alex’s love for it more than her own.The suggestion that Alex was expecting them to live together sent an a tingling sensation all over her. It meant that whatever happened in Portland wasn’t over yet; it was only the beginning. She wasn’t sure what to say in response to that. Her best friend, Alex Morgan, basically told her they were going to live together as soon as she got home. If Tobin was reckless, she’d hang up and start packing at that moment, but instead she was dumbfounded at how easily it spilled from Alex’s mouth.

Afraid she had freaked the other girl out, Alex began to panic on the inside. “Tobin?” _Shit, way to go Alex. She probably doesn’t want to move in with you._

It took Tobin another moment before she found her voice again. “Uh, yeah I’m still here. Sorry.”

“It’s okay,” she murmured, relaxing at the sound of her voice again.

The older girl decided to lay back down under her covers and put the phone next to her head, putting it on speaker. “Your Portland plan sounds pretty cool.”

“It does?” Alex asked, holding her breath. She was so scared Tobin would reject the idea. She was never one to find one place to call home. The closest home Tobin had was her sister’s place in Jersey, and she was rarely found hanging out there.

Tobin smiled, picturing a home in Portland not so different than her summer. “Totally. As long as we have enough room for my things,” she joked.

“Oh shut up, you can fit everything you need into your stupid duffle bag,” Alex laughed softly, rolling her eyes. Her sigh of relief came as she realized Tobin approved of her idea.

Tobin shook her head, a megawatt grin finding her face. “Always pack light, Lex.”

“Yeah yeah, nomad lifestyle,” Alex mocked, her chest aching badly for Tobin to be with her now. “What do I do, Tobs?” She desperately wanted Tobin to tell her to go find them a place in Portland. All Tobin had to do was say she wanted it too and she’d do it.

Tobin let out a sigh, mulling over the options. Her heart wanted to blurt out that she should forget Servando and go to Portland, with the promise of coming home soon. But she knew to say that was to be selfish. This wasn’t a time to be selfish and she knew that. “Alex, if you move to Houston, you’re moving away from your home coast. Cali’s over there, and you fell in love with Portland thanks to the NWSL. Portland’s not going to be a three hour drive away anymore…” She bit her lip, trying to find a way to say something without completely giving it away. “You’d essentially be leaving Portland behind, with only the hopeful promise of next season to give you a reason to be there. There are a lot of memories you’d leave,” she continued, hoping Alex caught on to what she was talking about. “And it also means you’ll still try to make things better with Servando.”

Alex closed her eyes, rubbing her temples. She knew Tobin was right. Portland had now become another home to her. Being close to the city was comforting. If she ever wanted to visit or stop by, it was only a few hours away. But Houston? That would require a few days by car and she didn’t have the energy to catch a flight every time she missed the city. And for the memories? She couldn’t leave those behind. Those were always with her. “Okay,” she said, opening her eyes again. “And if I go to Portland?”

Tobin’s tired expression held a dreamy look to it. A possibility of a life with Alex in the city things came together sounded perfect to her, but she had to answer rationally. “If you go to Portland...it’s like starting fresh, I guess. A new home. It means that you’re not going to try to work things out with him anymore. Unless, of course, you want to do long distance, but…”

Alex shook her head furiously. “No. No more long distance. It’s not worth it - it’s hurting us.”

“Okay,” Tobin nodded slowly, closing her eyes. Though she wanted to hear Alex’s voice all night long and forever past that, she still had a long day. “Then Portland means you’re done trying to work things out.”

The forward nodded, then remembered she couldn’t be seen. “Okay...thank you, Tobin. I should probably let you go to sleep now.”

Tobin yawned, snuggling her head more into her pillow. “Mmm...good afternoon ‘Lex.”

Alex smiled, shaking her head. “Good night...oh and Tobin?”

“Hmm?”

“Good game the other day.”

Tobin’s eyes opened as they squinted at the only light in the room. “You saw the game?”

Alex couldn’t see the girl, but the surprise in her voice was enough to know what she looked liked. “Of course I did.”

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Perhaps a quick vacation is a good idea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry it's taken me two week to update. School's gotten in the way and then there was a lack of motivation, but I'm back. :)

“Great practice Tobin!” Lindsey piped up by the midfielder’s side with a little bounce in her step.

“Thanks…” Tobin said slowly, eyeing the girl carefully as she skipped away.

It was two days after her late night (or afternoon, if you were thinking Seattle time) conversation with Alex, and the most distracting thing of all that day was how hyper and happy and excited Lindsey seemed to be. It wasn’t her birthday and it wasn’t anything special that Tobin could remember. That morning had started off with Lindsey bursting into Tobin’s room and hitting her repeatedly with the pillow until she got out of bed. Though the older girl was still half asleep, she did manage to hear the forward say something about it being a great day. She wasn’t sure what was coming, but with Lindsey she could never really be sure.

“What is up with her?” Laure mumbled, quirking an eyebrow.

Tobin shrugged. “Not sure. She’s been like this all morning.”

“Maybe it’s a boy?” the defender suggested, wiggling her eyebrows.

“Nah, she would’ve said something about him by now.”

“Well..she is kind of scaring me,” Laure admitted, pulling her hair out of the bun she had it in.

Tobin only chuckled, rolling her eyes. “If she wants to be then let her.” She finally reached her locker and was barely pulling off her practice shirt when Lindsey appeared next to her.

“Hey!” She greeted, already changed and freshened up.

“Wow, usually we need to tell you _vite-vite_ ,” Laure joked, noticing how fast the girl changed.

Lindsey rolled her eyes, ignoring the comment. “I’m gonna head back to the apartment now. Hey Tobs, why don’t you and Laure go grab something for us to eat and meet me in like an hour? Bring food for four!”

“Is Koso joining us?”

“No, she has something to do. I just want more food for myself,” Lindsey shrugged.

Tobin eyed her suspiciously. “Linds, is there something you’re not telling us?”

“No,” Lindsey innocently shook her head. “I just want food. I’m starving.”

“Okay…”

Her face immediately brightened once again. “Cool, see you two later!” And with that, she jogged out of the locker room.

“Um…” Tobin said, watching the girl go. “That was…”

“ _étrange_?” Laure suggested.

“Very.”

 

Tobin and Laure found themselves pulling up to the first good restaurant they could find. Since the strange night at the bridge, Tobin found herself in a predicament with Laure. Though she did assure the smaller girl that they were ‘cool’, there were little moments she’d catch herself looking at the French native longer than she should. Or they’d be closer than she should. Obviously, there was something shifting between them, but Tobin didn’t want to admit it. Either that or she was just completely oblivious.

“So how much food should we get?” Laure asked, breaking Tobin out of her head.

Tobin thought for a moment. “Hmm...well, we’re all pretty hungry and I don’t know how much our supposed ‘guest’ eats, so probably if Koso was in place of the guest.”

Laure nodded as they approached the counter, and swiftly ordered in French. Tobin had decided long ago she loved hearing Laure speak her native language. Not only did it sound so natural and effortless (not at all like Tobin’s broken French), but her voice somehow made people pay attention. It was soft, yet made Tobin listen somehow. Finally, after placing the order, Laure turned to her. “So, who do you think is our guest?”

Tobin shrugged. “I still think it’s some guy.”

Laure laughed, throwing her head back. “Perhaps...but she would have already told us about him, wouldn’t you think?”

“Maybe...Lindsey can be mysterious if she wants to be,” she countered. The two sat in silence, waiting for their take out to when Tobin heard Laure absentmindedly mumbling. It took her a second before a smile found her lips and she asked, “Are you rapping?”

A giddy glint found Laure’s eye. “ _Peut-être_. Did you not know, Tobin? I am the next Jay-Z!”

Tobin laughed at this, shaking her head. “You’re something else, Laure Boulleau.”

Laure only grinned. “Rap with me, Tobin!”

Despite a few protests, Tobin finally gave in. She couldn’t help but lose herself in silliness when Laure was around. Things were easier to deal with...or not even think about. After her conversation with Alex a few nights ago, it was all Tobin could think about. What did Alex mean? Was she suggesting whatever happened in Portland was real? None of those thoughts even bothered to cross her mind as she was with Laure. Forgetting her problems was so much better, no matter how short the time was.

 

An hour later, Tobin and Laure both had a bag of to go in hand and were laughing about something stupid when they entered Tobin and Lindsey’s apartment. The low murmur of the TV was heard and Tobin thought she saw her roommate’s figure laying down on the couch.

“Hey kid, we’re home!” she announced.

“ _Avec la nourriture_!” Laure added, placing her bag on the kitchen counter along with Tobin’s.

When a minute passed without an answer, the two exchanged a glance.

“Linds..are you okay?” Tobin asked, frowning. It wasn’t normal for the girl to go from bouncy to quiet in an hour.

“Tobin shut up, there’s a game on,” she laughed. But that wasn’t Lindsey. The laugh was too familiar. The voice was too much of a sweet rasp.

Tobin froze. “A-Alex?” she stuttered.

Alex sat up from the couch and turned to face her with a smile. “Surprise.”

A grin broke out on Tobin’s face, forgetting Laure was even in the room. She ran the short distance and jumped over the couch, tackling Alex down. This received a scream from Alex as her back hit the couch and she felt Tobin’s arms wrap tightly around her and her face dig into Alex’s neck. “How long?”

“The weekend,” Alex answered, smiling as her hands found their way to Tobin’s back. She missed having the strong arms around. She missed the warmth Tobin always gave off. She missed the smell of the ocean and her lanky but built body.

“When--What--How?” Tobin pulled away from Alex’s neck to look at the girl as her questions jumbled into one. Although she was laying practically on top of the girl, those passionate blue eyes still made her knees go weak and the raspy voice made her hold in a happy sigh.

The striker mindlessly played with Tobin’s ponytail as she answered, “Booked a flight after we talked and then talked to Lindsey a few hours later.  I needed space, and I kind of missed you, dork.”

Tobin couldn’t help but beam. “You’re the best!” she exclaimed, holding Alex even tighter than she just was.

“Am I good or am I good?!” Lindsey shouted as she exited her bedroom. “It all makes sense now, doesn’t it?”

Tobin laughed, getting off of Alex and standing up. “And to think I thought your mood was about a boy.”

“Told you Tobs,” Laure chuckled. It was just then that Tobin remembered the third party in the room during her and Alex’s exchange.

“Help me up!” Alex demanded, a smile never leaving her face.

Tobin rolled her eyes. “Fine, you spoiled brat.” She took Alex’s hand, helping her up and she swore their hands held onto each other a moment longer than necessary before letting go. Her hand felt cold. “So I mean, I guess you guys have never formally met,” Tobin said, looking between Laure and Alex. “Lex, this is Laure Boulleau, French soccer star, and Laure, this is Alex Morgan, American soccer star.”

“Hi,” Alex smiled her charming smile at Laure. “It’s nice to meet you off the pitch.” She was standing so close that her arm was pressed against Tobin’s. She missed contact with the older girl so much and was more than happy to have it back.

“Bonjour,” Laure replied, a small smile on her lips. “You too. You’re quite the talent.” The exchanged she’d witnessed between Alex and Tobin made her a bit uncomfortable.

Lindsey clapped her hands together. “Okay people, I just had a tough training today, what are we eating?”

 

The four managed to get themselves at the dining table with the food Tobin and Laure picked up earlier. Tobin took her rightful spot next to Alex, with Laure and Lindsey sitting across from her. They’d never seen this side of Tobin. She looked like a puppy whose owner had just come home, or like she’d just found her favorite toy. Her eyes held a certain light that hadn’t been brought out before and voice was so animated as she caught up with Alex and shared stories with her teammates, Alex finishing her sentences flawlessly.

This intrigued Lindsey. She’d seen Tobin and Alex together before, but she hadn’t seen them after being separated for awhile. It was like something new was ignited in Tobin, like something was missing since she’d returned. And now Lindsey knew that something must have been Alex. Laure, on the other hand, felt strange about it. She and Tobin had a pretty good connection - it was evident in the way they’d hit it right off the bat last year when Tobin first played for PSG. But seeing her with Alex made her realize that it was something she wanted with Tobin. Was she jealous? She couldn’t really say, not that Tobin noticed anyway. She was too wrapped up in everything Alex Morgan related.

 

A few hours later, Laure had excused herself for a meeting with her manager and Lindsey had cleared up the kitchen, allowing the two friends to have some time of their own. Alex was sitting on Tobin’s bed while the older girl juggled the ball in a small space.

The striker watched her for a moment before asking, “Are you happy here?”

The question took Tobin by surprise, causing her feet to stutter and break her juggling pattern she had going. She looked up from the ball to Alex’s blue gaze before answering. “Uh...yeah, I’m pretty happy here. I miss home though.” _I miss you._

“And where’s home?”

Tobin opened her mouth, but then closed it. She wasn’t exactly sure she couldn’t answer that question. Where was home? Was it Jersey? or was it Portland? So instead, she asked a question. “Does Servando know you’re here?”

Alex bit her lip. “Um, I think he does…”

The midfielder frowned. “What do you mean ‘I think’?”

The striker’s eyes focused on her lap as she fidgeted in her seat. “Well...I left him a note before I left telling him I’m in Paris for the weekend and I haven’t checked my phone since.”

“Alex!” Tobin scolded, kicking the ball away and sitting next to her. “This doesn’t make anything better between you two. If anything, it’ll make it worse.”

Alex’s eyes wouldn’t leave her lap as she mumbled, “Maybe I’m tired of it. Maybe I just need to get away from it all.” Before Tobin could say another word, the younger girl looked at her with her big blue eyes. “Can this weekend be just about you and me, Tobs? I really don’t want to think about anything else.”

And there was something in Alex’s voice that made her sound so weary and tired. Tobin picked up on it almost immediately. She took a good look at the girl and realized just how drained she was. Perhaps it wasn’t only the flight, but things back home. What _had_ Alex been up to since the end of the NWSL? What’s been on her mind? _Who’s_ been on her mind? It all came to Tobin at once, taking her out of the moment she was in.

“Tobin?” Alex called to her, a worried look on her face. She noticed the older girl wasn’t quite with her.

The raspy voice was enough to snap Tobin back to reality. “Yeah,” she said, shaking her head to erase the thoughts. “Sure Lex. This weekend is you and me. Nothing else. I don’t even have a game this weekend so we’re all good.”

Alex grinned. “Good.”

 

That night, Alex said she didn’t want to be an inconvenience and insisted on staying at a hotel, but Lindsey said it was nonsense and she could make the bed in the guest room quickly to give her a room. It was Tobin in the end who decided it’d be fine if Alex stayed in her room. They’d shared a room multiple times in the, so what was the difference this time around? Except the last time they did, they ended up kissing. They were half naked. They were drunk.

Alex agreed without hesitation and Lindsey just shrugged and said it was easier for her because she didn’t have to set anything up. Once Alex’s suitcase was in Tobin’s room and she plugged in her phone to charge, she immediately noticed the twenty texts she had from Servando along with the endless calls and voicemails. She sighed, really not wanting to deal with it.

“Servando?” Tobin guessed as she walked into the room freshly showered. Alex had missed seeing Tobin like this. Not only did she find it attractive, but she found it comforting and familiar, something she’d been lacking since Tobin left.

“Yeah,” she let out an exasperated sigh. “Too much of him, really.”

“He’s worried,” Tobin pointed out as she threw an extra pillow onto her bed.

Alex shrugged. “I guess.”

Tobin could sense how much Alex didn’t want to talk to him or about him at all while she was here. “Just let him know you’re okay, and that you’ll talk to him when you return. Don’t stress the guy out more than necessary, Lex.”

Alex pouted, knowing the older one was right. “Fine.” She sighed, sending a text to Servando reassuring him that she was okay, and that she needed space, but every question would be answered when she returned. “There. Happy?”

The midfielder flashed a smile at her as she hopped onto the bed. “Very. Now come on, I know you’re exhausted.”

The striker put her phone down, making sure it was charging, and did as she was told. She found her place on the right side of the bed and face Tobin, who was already laying down and looking at her with a smile.

“I’m really glad you’re here,” she said quietly.

“Me too Tobs,” she smiled back. “Me too,” she repeated quietly.

Tobin reached over and turned off the lights, and Alex was able to really let it sink in. She was in Paris, visiting her best friend for the weekend. Not just any best friend, but Tobin freakin’ Heath. Tobin, who made her question her feelings for both her and Servando. Tobin, who made everything seem so easy and simple when they were together. Tobin, who she missed so terribly the moment she boarded her plane.

Meanwhile Tobin tried to let the fact that Alex had come on a plane last minute to see her sink in. She came to see her, not anyone else. And as much as she wanted to let Alex have a nice weekend off without any stresses or worries, Tobin knew they had to talk. They had to discuss what the hell happened in Portland. She needed to come clean about their night together in New York because she’s positive Alex was wasted out of her mind so she didn’t remember. And that stung. It stung that Alex had kissed her and seemed to like it, but she didn’t remember any of it.

A movement surprised Tobin then, Alex scooted closer to Tobin, then faced away from her. Before Tobin could stop herself, her desires came to life as she wrapped her arms around Alex, her front pressing against Alex’s back. Spooning. Tobin’s heart beat so fast she was sure Alex could feel it. Alex’s scent was so strong it filled up Tobin’s nostrils with every breath she took in. It took so much for her not to turn her head and kiss the girls cheek or neck. Instead, she just held Alex trying to remain calm.

She waited for Alex to protest or pull away or ask what was going on.

She didn’t.

“Good night Tobs,” she mumbled.

“...G-goodnight Lex,” she answered, dizzy from Alex being so close.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A weekend in Paris with the person you can't stop thinking about. Let's see if they can get through Day One

When Tobin woke up, it took her a moment to remember why there was someone else in her bed. After that, she tensed realizing she was still cuddling Alex. Last night, she reasoned with herself that Alex was probably looking for comfort after all her problems with Servando building up. That’s why cuddling with her was okay; because she needed to comfort her friend. Now Tobin was awake, but her eyes were closed. She felt warmth radiating onto her and knew Alex was still close. In fact, the striker was facing her. She felt Alex’s face in the crook of her neck, her lips touching Tobin’s skin. At the realization of this, Tobin’s breath hitched but she tried to control herself.

She didn’t dare open her eyes, afraid that if she did, Alex would wake up as well and pull away from her immediately. She stayed like that for a moment, listening to Alex’s breathing and feeling the rise of her chest.

“B--” Lindsey had walked into the room, but her words faltered as she probably witnessed what she wasn’t expecting to see.

Tobin squeezed her eyes shut, praying her roommate would leave quickly and leave them alone. A moment passed. _She’s so not letting this go_ , she realized as Lindsey quietly closed the door and left the two by themselves again.

Alex stirred in Tobin’s arms, but the midfielder remained calm and tried to fake sleeping as the girl move a bit. She didn’t move away from Tobin. “Morning,” she mumbled against Tobin’s skin.

 _Well, there goes pretending to sleep_ , Tobin thought. “Morning Alex,” she cooed softly. “Sleep well?”

The striker hummed in confirmation, not wanting to move. She found this position way too comfortable, and she was afraid the minute she moved away Tobin would get up and go to the kitchen. “Do you have practice today?”

“Just a quick session for two hours then the day’s all yours,” Tobin answered, her fingers drumming along the fabric on Alex’s back.

The movement caused shivers up Alex’s spine and she tried her best to not let out a shaky breath. “That means we should probably get out of bed now, huh?”

Tobin sighed, feeling too comfortable in her position. “You’re right.”

Alex was silent for a moment, then smirked. “Last one out makes the bed!” She quickly rolled out of Tobin’s gasp and hopped off the bed, but immediately regretted doing so when the lack of warmth from Tobin and the sheets became evident.

Tobin, on the other hand, took a moment to comprehend what Alex was saying. After Alex rolled away from her, she hastily attempted to slide out of bed, but instead ended up falling onto her ass on the opposite side. “Ow!” she groaned, causing Alex to erupt in laughter.

Alex made her way to the other side of the bed and extended her hand to Tobin. “You okay?” she asked, trying to control her giggles.

“Fine,” Tobin muttered, trying her best to glare at the girl but couldn’t help but let out a chuckle. She took her hand and got up, holding onto it a moment longer than necessary. She liked the comfort it gave.

“You’re making the bed,” Alex giddily informed her before pulling her hand away and sprinting out of the room.

“Alex!” Tobin called after her, gaping.

The only response was a giggle and Tobin knew she was on her own on this one. She shook her head, smiling. This weekend was going to be a pretty good one.

 

“So…” Lindsey said as she finished chewing her food. “How’d you sleep last night, Alex?” She sent a quick look to Tobin, who once she saw it almost choked on her water.

“Pretty good,” Alex shrugged, her cheeks a little pink. “Honestly I haven’t slept that well in….a while.” She bit her lip and stared at her empty plate. The last time she’d slept that well was the night before Tobin left. The night after the championship. The night she kissed Tobin because she found liquid courage.

The teenager at the table raised an eyebrow at her, but didn’t press for any details. “That’s good,” she decided. “How’s the jet lag?”

“Something I’m used to,” Alex admitted.

Tobin could feel Lindsey’s eyes on her, daring her to say something about how they slept so she spoke up. “Hey Lex, we’re leaving soon so you should go ahead and shower. I don’t think we’ll be coming home after, right Linds?”

Lindsey only shrugged, now interested in a new message on her phone. “If you want. I don’t really care.”

“Okay,” Alex nodded, getting up. Tobin smiled at her and she smiled back, her fingers brushing the midfielder’s shoulder as she passed by.

Lindsey stayed interested in her phone while Tobin finished up breakfast. Once Alex shut the bathroom door, a smirk appeared on Lindsey’s face. “Hey so Tobs…”

 _Oh here we go_ , Tobin inwardly groaned. She looked at Lindsey with her eyebrows raised. “What?”

“Don’t you think this is just adorable?” she asked, then thrust her phone in front of Tobin’s face.

Tobin squinted for a moment, trying to comprehend what Lindsey was talking about. It was a picture of a bedroom, and there were two people in bed cuddling each - “HEY!” Tobin shouted when she realized that was from earlier when Lindsey walked in on them. “I knew you were in there too long!” She made a move to grab the phone, but was too late.

“Oh, you were awake?” Lindsey laughed, quickly taking her phone away from Tobin’s reach and keeping it by her side. “Sorry, I couldn’t help it. You guys were adorable.”

Tobin pouted, crossing her arms like a child. Blood was quickly filling her cheeks. “Whatever.”

Her PSG teammate smiled for a moment then asked, “What the deal with you two?”

“What do you mean?” Tobin questioned even though she knew exactly what the friend meant.

“She’s all you can pay attention to since she got here, and I find you sleeping like that,” Lindsey pointed to her phone for reference. “I don’t remember you guys being that...close. Unless I’ve just been missing something this whole time.”

The older girl sighed, unsure of how to explain Alex’s current state, along with their current state without talking about Portland. “It’s complicated,” she stated, knowing the words were lame and overused for all situations.

She could tell Lindsey wasn’t impressed at all with the answer by the way her lips turned down and the way her eyebrows rose. “Tobin.”

“I’m not sure I could explain it even if I tried,” she admitted. “I’m still trying to figure it out myself.”

“Well, I hope you figure it out soon,” Lindsey said, smiling a little. “You two are too good of friends to let anything bad happen. And plus, I think it’s cute. You’re perfect for each other.”

Tobin began to turn beet red. “Lindsey!”

The younger girl laughed, snatching her phone up as she stood from the table. “Clean this up, would you?”

 

It was a light practice for the most part and Tobin was grateful because she didn’t want to hurt her foot anymore than it had been hurting. They did a few drills and ended the practice with a quick scrimmage. Alex had been more than welcome to sit on the bench and watch, and that was exactly what she did. It felt strange to Tobin. Alex was sitting on the bench instead of sharing the field with her, but they weren’t at a national team camp. Alex was watching her practice, watching the way she connected with this team, and that alone drove her to do her best, even if it was just practice.

Alex didn’t realize how much she missed seeing Tobin at practices or just watching her play until she sat down and found her attention only on the tan midfielder. The girl was so smooth with the ball Alex was surprised when Tobin missed a shot or over estimated a cross. She watched how she got along with her teammates as well. Most of them seemed to enjoy feeding off of her energy and talent. She was obviously closest to Lindsey, Allansi and Laure. That was no surprise. What did surprise her though was how much Tobin and Laure seemed to connect not only on the field, but in general as well.

In between every drill, Tobin had Laure by her side and they were either in an animated conversation or making the other one laugh. Their friendship seemed so natural it almost reminded Alex of her own friendship with Tobin. She’s like that with everyone, Alex reasoned with herself. It was kind of true - there wasn’t really anyone who hated Tobin. She got along with people and people got along with her. But there was still something different about Laure and Tobin, and it didn’t sit well with Alex.

It came to Alex towards the end of the practice, during the scrimmage. She watched as Laure dribble the ball up the right side of the field and immediately looked up. Tobin was screaming her name and Laure’s eyes went to her. A second later, the ball followed the direction Laure looked it. Tobin nutmugged a defender, looked up and shot. It went in and her team cheered along with Alex. Laure wasted no time in running over to Tobin and leaping onto her, her legs gripping Tobin’s waist.

“ _C'était_ awesome!” Laure yelled, laughing.

 _She’s acting like it was during a freaking game_ , Alex resisted the urge to roll her eyes. She was somewhat the jealous type and to see Laure all over Tobin for no reason tested her jealousy.

“Hey, you gave me a good cross,” Tobin answered as Laure hopped off of her.

Alex smiled. She adored Tobin when she was completely modest.

“I’m not the one who made the goal,” the blonde defender countered, patting the spot between Tobin’s shoulder blades gently.

The American striker hid a frown at the sight, but relaxed a few minutes later when the coach called the team over for a few final words after their light practice. She stood as the team broke apart and Tobin made her way over, smiling.

“Hey, what’d you think?” She knew this wasn’t anything like their practices in Portland or with the national team, so she was curious to hear Alex’s opinion.

The younger one smiled at her. “It was good for a light practice. You’re magic out here, you know.” After a moment, she added. “You were right. France is good for you.”

Tobin scrunched her nose a little. “It has it’s perks.” Satisfied with Alex’s response of a giggle, she grinned before saying, “I’m going to get changed real quick and then we can head out.”

“Sounds good to me,” Alex nodded.

The coach was making his way over and Tobin quickly added, “Coach is interested in you. Said earlier that he’d like to know more about you.”

Alex caught on to what she was saying. “Sure, I’ll talk to him while I wait.”

“Thanks Lex,” she smiled before jogging off to the locker rooms, catching up with Lindsey on the way.

 

“God it’s so beautiful,” Alex breathed out in awe, staring at the building she’d only seen in pictures.

Instead of looking at the incredible monument, Tobin was looking at Alex. She was very pleased with her reaction. To see Alex’s face in pure awe was an incredible thing to experience, and Tobin considered herself blessed to be able to see it more often than others. The forward’s mouth was opened in a perfect small “O” shape, her eyes sparkled at the sight; and from the side view Tobin was getting of her, she noticed Alex’s hair fell down her back in waves so beautifully. It was beautiful. _She_ was beautiful.

“Yeah, it is,” she finally responded, but she wasn’t talking about the same thing Alex was.

Alex suddenly whipped her head to face Tobin. “Should we go up?” Her cheeks flushed when she realized Tobin was already looking at her.

Tobin attempted to play off her staring by looking back at the tower for a moment. “I don’t know Lex...it’s pretty high. If you want, of course we will.”

Alex considered this for a moment then shook her head. “Nah, seeing the Eiffel Tower like this is enough. And plus, you’d only slow me down,” she teased. “You had practice this morning.”

“Hey! I am a very fit athlete thank you very much,” Tobin stuck her tongue out.

“Mhmm sure,” Alex rolled her eyes, giggling.

After another minute of going back and forth finally resulted in not going all the way up the Eiffel Tower. The next thing to hit on their list was the Arc de Triomphe. As they made their way to the monument, Alex decided to say something that had been bothering her all day.

“You and Laure are pretty close.”

Tobin looked at her strangely as the cab slowed at a stoplight. “Um, yeah...she’s one of the teammates I’m closer to.”

“You guys make a pretty good team on the field,” Alex commented, not sure how to approach the situation, but knew it was too late to pretend she never brought it up.

“Yeah,” Tobin smiled. “She feeds me the best balls when given the chance.”

 _Just like you feed me the best balls_ , Alex thought. “Are you two like…” she blurted, but quickly trailed off when she realized what she was saying. _Way to be subtle_ she scolded herself.

At this, Tobin looked at her in confusion and then surprise. “What? Me and Laure? No no, we’re friends, but…” She bit her lip, unsure if she should share what was an unspoken agreement between her and Laure. But Alex was her best friend...her best friend she had feelings for. And then there was Servando. But would Alex go back to Servando? At this point no one, not even Alex knew the answer to that.

Alex held in her cringe at the “but”. She looked at Tobin, expecting her to continue. “But...?” she prodded her.

“But…” Tobin said again. looking away. “There’s...something there.”

The striker’s stomach clenched. “There is?”

“Well, on Laure’s side anyway…” she mumbled, still not meeting Alex’s eyes.

“Oh,” was all Alex could say. “And on your side…?”

Tobin knew the next question before it even came out of Alex’s mouth. What was she supposed to say? She didn’t even know the answer to that. And if she said something she shouldn’t, she could either lose Alex or just lose an opportunity she thought she’d never have. Sure, Laure was her friend, but she’d be lying if she hadn’t thought about something more since that night on the bridge. It made sense. It wasn’t hard to fall for Laure, really. But has Tobin actually fallen or is she just an option because she can be since she’s unsure about Alex?

“I’m not really sure,” she finally said as the cab slowed at their destination. “Merci,” she thanked the driver, handing him the money and quickly getting out of the cab. She didn’t want to continue the conversation.

Alex followed her out in somewhat of a daze. The fact that someone could possibly have Tobin’s heart scared her. Last night she could faintly hear Tobin’s heartbeat - what if her heart beat for Laure? She wanted to know more, but as soon as the cab drove away, Tobin grabbed her hand and dragged her to the Arc de Triomphe.

“Come on Lex,” Tobin said with a smile now, the previous mood gone. “This thing is awesome!”

Alex laughed and let herself be pulled. If Tobin didn’t want to talk about Laure, that was more than okay with her.

  



	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> and so their Parisian weekend continues...

The sun was replaced by the moon when Alex and Tobin sat in a cab with Alex’s head resting on Tobin’s shoulder as the tired striker tried to stay awake during the quiet ride. Their afternoon together had continued just fine with neither of them bringing up the now somehow heavy topic of Laure. She knew Alex was aware that there must be something more than just friends going on with the way Tobin was hesitant to answer. Tobin couldn’t help but realize her situations were mirrors of each other. One on side, she’d fallen for her best friend who was taken; and on the other, her possibly closest friend in France was developing feelings for her while she was infatuated with someone else. To her, it seemed like there was no way to win. Perhaps there was if Alex didn’t feel the same way about her, but there was something there between her and Alex. Portland happened for a reason. Alex was never one to play games with anyone. Whatever sparked between them was real, and Tobin needed to know if it was more than just the summer, more than the situation they’d found themselves in: alone together.

But after the Arc de Triomphe, Alex was always in physical contact with Tobin (not that she minded, it was really comforting while sending an electric jolt through her body). If it wasn’t holding hands, it was an arm around her. She occasionally cuddling against Tobin. Their arms were always pressed together. Tobin wasn’t sure what started all of it, but it only fueled her need for Alex.

“Tobin?” Alex mumbled into her shoulder, breaking into her thoughts. “Are we going back to your place?”

Tobin shook her head, a small smile on her lips. “No, no. There’s still one more place I have to show you before we go out to dinner.”

“Where’s that?” she asked, looking up at her from her comfortable position. “You’ve shown me practically all the tourist places.”

The midfielder looked at the cab driver quickly to see he was mumbling the lyrics to the song playing on the radio. Satisfied that he had no interested in their conversation, she licked her lips nervously before saying, “ _Il y a un pont que je voudrais te montrer._ ” (There’s a bridge I’d like to show you.)

Alex raised her eyebrows. “Tobin Heath, you know I didn’t get a word you just said.”

A soft chuckle left Tobin’s lips as she thought of the words she needed to say. “ _Les seurres de l’amour, il faut...uh...le voir._ ” (The locks of love, you have to see it.)

“Are you saying mean things to me?”

“No, I’m telling you where we’re going,” Tobin explained.

Alex pouted. “That’s not fair. I don’t speak French.”

“Well, I don’t want to ruin the surprise,” Tobin grinned as the cab came to a stop. “Oh look, we’re here anyway.” She hopped out of the cab after paying the driver and helped Alex out.

“Where are we?” the younger one asked, squinting for a moment. She saw Tobin was still grinning and her brows furrowed in confusion until she turned. Letting out a gasp, she ran over to the bridge, taking in all the locks hung on it. “Oh my god!”

Tobin laughed, jogging after her. “You told me once that you’d love to come here. So I thought it’d be fair to help make that happen.”

Alex beamed. “You’re incredible, I hope you know that.”

“Eh, I guess,” Tobin teased, shrugging coolly.

It was then that Alex became quiet, and read the names and dates written on the locks. She’d only heard stories about this and to see it in real life was surreal. “Wow,” she breathed out.

“Pretty crazy,” Tobin nodded.

In all honesty, Tobin wasn’t much of a fan of the locks. Sure, they were cool, but what was it really saying? Love wasn’t something you could lock up and make it last forever. Love was supposed to be free. This made it seem like you were locking your love up to be kept there; to be hidden and never exposed. It was almost like a secret.

Alex suddenly spun around to face her. “Tobin, I have to do one!”

“Alex, I don’t have a lock on me.” she pointed out.

She rushed to Tobin, grabbing her hands. “Please,” she pouted. “I have to! I have to do this!”

Tobin cocked an eyebrow in confusion. “Alex, in order to do this you have to--”

“I know, I know!” Alex brushed her off. “Come on, just help me find a lock and a sharpie!”

Tobin groaned, but she could never deny Alex’s favors, especially when she looked so adorable. “Fine, come on, people sell locks on this bridge."

“Yay!” Alex squealed, hugging Tobin in victory. “Let’s go!” she laughed, sliding her hand into Tobin’s before beginning their search for a lock and sharpie. Neither commented on how alive they felt each time physical contact occurred.

 

Fifteen minutes later, Alex was giddy as they returned with a sharpie and a bright blue lock with it’s key in Alex’s hands and the spare key in her back pocket. Tobin would typically be annoyed at anyone who was this excited about the lock of love, but she couldn’t help but enjoy the look of pure excitement on the striker’s face. They walked until they found a spot Alex deemed acceptable for her lock, and then stopped with Tobin leaning against the bridge. Alex uncapped her sharpie and bit her lip as she began to scribble. Tobin looked at her strangely because she knew the look to be a nervous one. Then, a thought occurred to her. What was Alex going to even put on the lock? Her and Servando weren’t on good terms right now. Or maybe this bridge rekindled her love for him? Tobin grew nervous as well as Alex continued to scribble.

“There,” Alex muttered to herself, recapping the sharpie and handing it off to Tobin.

“What did you write?” the older one asked curiously as she tucked the sharpie into her pocket.

Alex looked at her hesitantly, as if debating whether or not to show Tobin. A moment later she gave in, flashing the lock at her.

 

_APM + TPH_

_Summer in Portland_

 

Tobin read it once. She read it twice. She didn’t notice Alex chewing her bottom lip so much that it should’ve started bleeding. She read it another time. Slowly, she understood. She looked up to meet Alex’s bright blue eyes. They were looking at her curiously, and the longer Tobin re-read, the more they seemed to doubt. Their eyes met for a long moment before Alex proceeded to hook the lock onto the bridge. She looked back at Tobin who just stood, partially in shock, just watching her. Letting out a shaky breath, she tossed the key into the water, watching as it quickly disappeared. They stood like that for a minute silently. Alex watching the water, Tobin watching Alex.

Tobin cleared her throat. “Ready for dinner?”

Alex spun around and nodded. “Yeah, let’s go.”

 

Early Sunday morning Tobin found herself completely wrapped up in Alex. Her face was dug into the younger girl’s sternum and there was a tight grip on her body. She quietly breathed in Alex’s scent, quickly growing accustomed to waking up to the girl even though it was only the second day. Dread suddenly filled her body as she realized Alex was going to leave the next day. She slowly shimmied her way up to face Alex, and was surprised to find tears staining her cheeks.

“Alex?” she mumbled, still half-asleep. When she got no response, she tried again. “Alex,” she repeated, a bit more alert now. She gently shook the striker’s shoulders.  
Alex let out a soft groan, wiping the tears on her cheeks. “Tobin..?” she croaked weakly.

“It’s me,” Tobin nodded, gently removing Alex’s arms from her. “Alex, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” she whispered, but her tears said the opposite.

“You’re crying,” Tobin frowned, wiping the tears that came. One of her arms hooked around Alex’s waist, pulling her a little closer. “Don’t tell me it’s nothing.”

Alex’s eyes opened and she squinted to see Tobin’s face in front of her. The view brought on a sigh of relief. “You’re here.”

“Of course I am,” the midfielder confirmed. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“I thought I lost you,” Alex said, confusing Tobin for a slight moment. “You weren’t here…”

A second later, Tobin understood that it had been a dream. Something happened in Alex’s dream, something that involved Tobin. “No Lex,” she cooed softly, tightening her grip on Alex’s waist a little. “I’m right here. I won’t leave you.”

“Please don’t,” Alex begged, kissing Tobin’s forehead. “Don’t leave me.”

“Never,” Tobin whispered before Alex dug her head into Tobin’s neck. “I never will.” She stroked the brunette’s hair until she felt the even breathing against her skin and soon drifted of to sleep again as well.

 

A few hours later, Tobin woke to soft kisses on her knuckles. Her eyes slowly adjusted to the light before realizing she was looking at Alex who was playing with her hand. A small smile found a way to her lips. “Morning.” She then felt that Alex’s leg was hooked around her own and willed herself not to blush at the realization.

Alex looked at her with a tiny smile. “Hi.”

Tobin looked at the clock to see it was about 10:30 in the morning. She didn’t mind that she’d slept in by a few hours. They weren’t doing anything special that day, anyway. “How are you feeling?” It quickly came back to her what she’d witnessed earlier that morning.

“Better,” Alex gave a small shrug, still playing with Tobin’s hand. “Are we doing anything today?”

“Nah,” Tobin shook her head. “Unless you want to?”

Alex crinkled her nose and Tobin bit back a smile at the sight of it. “A day in the apartment doesn’t seem like a bad idea.”

The midfielder smiled, content with Alex’s suggestion. “I like it, too.” She reached over and grabbed her phone, yanking it away from the charger and checked her messages, finding Lindsey as the newest one.

 

**Have fun today kiddies. Koso and I are going out! keep it PG...or not ;)**

 

Tobin chuckled, rolling her eyes as she put her phone aside. “Looks like we’re on our own today, Lindsey and Koso are up to their usual adventures.”

“That’s not so bad,” Alex smiled. Just then, her stomach grumbled causing Tobin to giggle. “Oops.”

“We should get out of bed, huh?” Tobin sighed, enjoying Alex being so close to her that their skin was constantly in contact.

“Do we have to?”

“Alex, I’m not going to let you starve,” she joked. “Come on, you can watch some TV while I make us some waffles with bacon.”

“Oh, have you turned into a chef since you left?” Alex teased, quirking an eyebrow.

“You might find out if you get out of bed,” Tobin shot back with a laugh. Before she realized it, she leaned over and kissed the younger girl’s forehead before slipping out of her warm touch. “Come on,” she beckoned, sliding out of bed and extending a hand out to the girl.

“No,” Alex pouted.

“Why not?” Tobin’s brows furrowed together.

“Piggyback ride,” the striker insisted, sounding like a small child as she did so.

Tobin’s lips twisted, thinking about it for a moment. “Okay, get on,” she groaned, turning around.

Alex giggled. “Yes!” she fist pumped before hopping onto Tobin’s back and planting a kiss on her cheek.

After a moment of multiple stumbles on Tobin’s end and giggles from the both of them, Tobin finally took the both of them into the living room, dropping Alex off onto the couch with a shriek.

“Tobin!” Alex sat up as soon as she felt the couch under her. “I could have died!”

“Sure you could,” Tobin chuckled, patting her head before sauntering off into the kitchen.

 

Late morning turned into afternoon which was beginning to turn into a cool evening. The two hadn’t done much that day. In less than twenty-four hours, hesitant touches became cuddling and horseplay while eyes flickering became soft and quick kisses on any visible skin. They weren’t carefully treading, they weren’t blurring lines. They had crossed a line, and both of them knew they couldn’t turn back and pretend it never happened. Yesterday on the bridge something changed, but neither talked about it; showing their affection was enough.

As the fifth movie of the day ended, Alex removed kernels of popcorn out of Tobin’s hair (they had a small food fight earlier with their popcorn) while sitting up. Tobin let her, not saying a word. Though she’d been able to forget about most things, with Alex’s arms around her she was suddenly reminded of the night in New York. She was pretty sure Alex didn’t remember and it kind of bothered her that she didn’t.

“Do you remember New York?” she asked suddenly, eyes still on the rolling credits.

“Huh?” She stopped looking for kernels.

Tobin rolled over so she was laying flat on her back and looked up at the forward. “You kissed me in New York. In the hotel. The night before I left.” There. It was out in the open now.

Alex stared at Tobin blankly. She didn’t think Tobin remembered. In fact, she still believed it was only her dreams and not reality. It took her a moment to reply. “I know,” she finally squeaked.

“You do?” Tobin’s eyebrows shot up at the confession.

The younger one nodded slowly. “And if I remember correctly, you kissed me back.”

Tobin was doing her very best to handle her shock. She was still laying on the couch when she asked, “Why’d you let me leave the next morning?”

Alex shook her head, looking down in her lap now. “We were drunk, and honestly I didn’t think it actually happened,” she murmured. “and I figured that even if it did, we were just doing it because of the moment. I thought it wouldn’t mean anything to you.”

Tobin slowly sat up. “Alex,” she said softly. “Somewhere in between coming back from France and leaving for the new season, things got confusing between us. We weren’t just friends anymore….I don’t even know what we were. But you were with Servando and I hate confrontation...so, you know.” She offered a small shrug.

“I don’t know what we were either,” Alex admitted. “but I knew it was you on my mind and not Servando. I tried fixing things with him because I thought maybe I still loved him. And if I loved him that meant I didn’t have feelings for you. I couldn’t have feelings for you because you’re my best friend…” She bit her lip hesitantly, then looked up to meet Tobin’s warm brown eyes.

“So what the hell are we doing?” The midfielder asked, tired of the blur of their actions. “What is this? Last night on the bridge--”

“Last night on the bridge was me taking a risk and telling you this summer meant something to me,” Alex explained. “It meant everything to me, Tobin. And I don’t want to forget it. I never wanted summer to end.”

Tobin sighed. “You know what I think of that bridge, Lex? You know what I really think?”

“What?” she asked curiously.

“That bridge...that bridge locks up love. It’s almost like that love is supposed to be a secret that stays between you, the other person and the bridge. You can’t lock away love, Alex. You’re not supposed to. Love is supposed to be freed. Never locked up.”

Alex frowned, feeling like she’d offended Tobin. “Tobs, that’s not what I meant by doing that.”

“I know,” she sighed. “I know...it’s just that it feels like you’re trying to keep Portland a secret. I don’t want this summer to be a secret.”

“I don’t either. I just...couldn’t tell you any other way,” Alex mumbled, her head hanging low.

“Why not?”

The striker stayed silent.

“Alex…talk to me.”

It took Alex another thirty seconds before she spoke. “Because you have feelings for Laure.”

Tobin gaped. “What?”

The younger girl looked up, a slightly sad expression on her face. “I see the way you two are around each other. I see the way she looks at you, and maybe you don’t look at her the same way, but you do look at her differently than you look at other people.”

“Lex,” Tobin frowned. It was a subject she hadn’t breached with anyone else. Leave it to her best friend to know exactly where to hit. She didn’t want to talk about this. Not with the girl she’d been planting kisses on for most of the day.

“Don’t try to deny it Tobs,” Alex went on, knowing this had to be done. “If you can look me in the eyes and honestly say you don’t have feelings for her, then I’ll believe you.”

Tobin bit her lip, staring into bright blue eyes. She felt somehow she was doing Alex wrong by what she was saying. It wasn’t fair. “Alex, I…” She couldn’t deny it.

Somehow the striker found it in her to muster up a weak, sad smile. “Don’t worry Tobs, I know.”

Before Tobin could put another word in, Lindsey busted through the door.

“I’m home!” she announced, dropping her newly acquired shopping bags to the floor. “And I got you two something nice today. What did you do?”

“I’m going to go shower,” Alex stated, patting Tobin’s leg as she stood. Tobin attempted to grab her hand, but it slipped away before she could get a good hold.

Lindsey looked at her PSG teammate curiously. “Tobs?” she asked after Alex left.

Tobin shrugged, running a hand through her hair. “We just watched movies and ate all day.”

“That’s all?” Lindsey asked skeptically.

 _No_ , Tobin thought. _There’s so much more._ “Yeah.”

 


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The weekend comes to an end and reality needs to set in, as well as some ideas.

“What time does your flight leave tomorrow?” Tobin asked when she finished changing into old shorts and a tank top.

“11:30 in the morning,” Alex replied while typing away on her phone.

The older girl nodded, taking the information in as she slowly walked over to the bed. She wasn’t sure what the conversation almost an hour ago meant for the two of them, and she didn’t want to ruin anything - if there still was something going on. Alex believed Tobin had feelings for Laure, and Tobin couldn’t honestly deny it without lying.

“Do you want me to take your to the airport?” she asked hesitantly.

Alex looked up from her phone a bit surprised. “Um, yeah...I kind of thought you already were.”

“Oh,” Tobin said dumbly. “Right. I just…” She sighed as she sat on the bed next to Alex. “Where are we now, Lex? Up until I moved in with you in Portland everything was clear and drawn out for us. We were best friends. But now...it’s obvious we’re something more, but what is it?” She sat down with some space between her and Alex.

The striker listened to Tobin and chewed her bottom lip. She and Tobin never had confrontations about much before, so the past twenty-four hours had been a lot for both of them to take in. A sigh left her lips as the words slowly pieced together in her mind.

“Look Tobin, you know where I stand on all of this,” she began, looking straight into Tobin’s warm, honey brown-colored eyes. “And I know you feel something for me too, but…”

“But?” Tobin asked, brows furrowed. _Is she having doubts about us? What did I do wrong?_

“But I’m not the only one you have feelings for,” Alex explained, giving her a knowing look. “And I’m not going to be that girl that tells you that you have to choose between us because that isn’t fair.”

Tobin frowned, crossing her arms. “Alex, Laure is--”

“She likes you Tobin,” Alex said, almost laughing at how oblivious the girl next to her was. “It’s obvious, just ask Lindsey.” She laid a hand gently on Tobin’s knee. “But you don’t need to choose now. I’m not making you chose.”

“Then why are we having this conversation?” Tobin was as confused as ever. Hours ago, she was positive Alex was all she ever wanted, and she thought Alex wanted her, but now it was like Alex was giving Tobin away; almost as if she was being put up for grabs.

“Because I’ve had Rachel and Danielle looking for a small apartment in Portland for me since they’re still in Portland. They found one yesterday and sent me all the information.” Alex took a deep breath and looked at Tobin, her blue eyes shining. “It’s the one I want. I’m buying it.”

Tobin’s eyes widened. Reality was hitting her like a ton of bricks. “Really?”

Alex nodded, a smile tugging at her lips. “It’s perfect, Tobs.”

“But...what about Servando?” Tobin asked, trying to make sense of it all. “He’s still kind of in the picture.”

“Rach is picking me up from the airport and I’m staying at her house overnight. The next day I’m driving to Seattle and ending this with Servando. For good.”

The midfielder tried her best not to gape. “Are...are you sure about this?”

“The decision was obvious as soon as you attacked me when you realized it was me on the couch a few days ago,” Alex admitted.

“Wow…” Tobin mused, not really sure what else to say.

Alex nodded. “And I know things between us have changed. They haven’t been the same since Portland, but I need you to know you’re still my best friend. You’re always my best friend.”

Tobin offered a half smile. “You’re always my best friend, Lex. There’s no one who could take that away from you.”

“You’re a sap,” Alex laughed, leaning over to hug her.

The older girl hugged her back, a laugh escaping her lips as well. “So are you.”

“But you’re never a sap,” Alex pointed out. “You’re usually giving me smart ass comments.”

“Not tonight,” Tobin grinned, pulling away from the hug. “Now let’s get to bed. I assume you want sleep before you take that long plane ride home.”

“Good night Tobs,” she smiled, plugging in her phone and snuggling into the covers.

“Good night Lex,” Tobin replied, turning off the light and situating herself.

They didn’t cuddle. Although Alex wanted  nothing more than to press herself up against Tobin, she knew it would make her only want to ask Tobin to be hers and only hers, and that was everything she said she wouldn’t do. So instead she closed her eyes, turned the other way and tried her best to fall asleep knowing the contact she craved was mere inches away.

 

As the sun just begun to rise, spilling into Tobin’s small apartment bedroom, Alex woke up to find her back against Tobin’s front. Tobin’s arms were wrapped around her, holding her tightly and the midfielder’s forehead was resting on the spot in between Alex’s shoulder blades.

At first, she reveled in the contact, but then she recalled what she promised last night and began an attempt to slip out of Tobin’s grip. This proved not to work when Tobin, who must have already been awake, pulled her closer again and mumbled in Alex’s ear.

“You’re leaving in a few hours, just….please.” Tobin’s voice was so soft and tired that Alex found no choice but to oblige.

“Okay,” she whispered, settling herself back into Tobin once again.

Tobin thanked her quietly before leaving a warm kiss on Alex’s neck and shoulder then resting her chin there.  “Overall, this weekend’s been amazing.”

Alex smiled. “I totally agree.”

“Thank you for coming,” Tobin said honestly, turning her head slightly to kiss Alex’s cheek.

“Always welcome,” Alex replied, unable to contain her smile when she felt Tobin’s lips on her skin.

They lay like that for a few minutes before Alex finally let out a sigh. “I’d really like to stay here forever, but I have a plane to catch and somewhere to take you before hand.”

Tobin lifted her head and look at Alex with a confused expression. “Where?”

“It’s a surprise,” Alex grinned at her.

“I hate surprises,” Tobin frowned.

“You’ll like this one,” Alex promised, sitting up. “Tobs, can you make us coffee first?”

“Do I _have_ to?” Tobin whined, also sitting up.

“Please? I like your coffee much better than when I make it.”

“I make it the same way as you do.”

“But yours still tastes better,” Alex shrugged. She looked at Tobin with pleading eyes and a small pout. “Please?”

Tobin sighed, pulling the sheets off of her body. “Fine,” she groaned, getting out of bed.

But really, she had no problem making coffee for Alex.

  
  


Tobin found herself sitting next to Alex in the cab, suitcases in the back. They weren’t going to the airport, though. Actually, Tobin wasn’t even sure where they were off to, but she trusted Alex enough (sort of) to be able to get them through the city and then to the airport in time. The car came to a stop and as Tobin looked at her surroundings, she realized they were at the bridge.

“Alex, what are we--”

“Ask the driver to stay here, it won’t take long. And tell him I’ll give him a tip when we get to the airport,” Alex instructed, getting out of the cab quickly.

Tobin sighed, but did as she was told before following Alex out. She saw the girl running down the bridge and she went after her. “Alex!” she called out. Alex didn’t answer, she only kept running, her eyes searching the bridge. “Alex, what are you--”

“Help me find it Tobin!” Alex called out to her, leaning over and squinting at the locks.

“Find what?”

“Our lock!”

“Why?”

“Just do it!”

Tobin rolled her eyes, but began searching for the lock anyway. _Why am I even doing this?_ she thought to herself. Sometimes Alex Morgan had a way of confusing her in a way she’d never understand.

“Found it!” Alex shouted from where she was. Tobin looked up to find Alex clutching the lock, still attached to the bridge, in her hand. Quickly Tobin ran over.

“Okay so you found it. Now what?”

Alex only smiled at her before reaching into her pocket and pulling out a key. She started to unlock it while Tobin stared at her dumbfounded.

“Huh? I thought you threw that into the river.”

“Spare key, duh,” Alex explained, licking her lips in concentration. The lock finally clicked and Alex unhook it from the bridge, holding it tightly. “Got it!”

“Great, can you please tell me what’s going on because I’m kind of confused,” Tobin said, crossing her arms.

Alex looked up from the lock and met Tobin’s confused gaze. “You hate this bridge, right?”

“Well..I never said I hate it…” Tobin started, but Alex waved her off.

“Whatever. You don’t like what the bridge and the locks and all that it stands for, right?” Alex corrected herself.

“Mhmm,” Tobin nodded slowly, looking at Alex curiously.

“I was thinking about it last night, and you were right,” Alex sighed. “Love doesn’t deserve to be locked up with the key long gone. Especially not ours. I’m not hiding my feelings or ignoring what’s going on anymore and I need you to know that.”

Tobin watched as Alex locked the lock again. With one hand she took Tobin’s, opening it so her palm was facing upward. Then, Alex pressed the lock into the other girl’s hands, curling Tobin’s fingers around it. She leaned forward, kissing Tobin’s fingers gently and then looking back up at the girl, who stared at her in awe.

“You can’t unlock the lock unless you have the key,” Alex continued, holding Tobin’s wrist lightly. “And a key has no purpose without what it needs to do it’s job.”

Tobin stared at the lock in her grasp, then back at Alex. Slowly, she began to caught on. “You’re keeping the key,” she guessed, looking at Alex’s other hand which held the key.

Alex’s lips found a smile and she nodded, glad Tobin was understanding. “You’re right.”

A honk was heard from a few yards away and they both knew it was their cab, waiting. They looked at each other a moment longer, both understanding the gravity of what was going on. Alex wasn’t backing out of this and Tobin’s affection for her only grew.

“I believe I have a plane to catch,” Alex frowned.

“Then let’s not keep anyone waiting,” Tobin winked, trying to make light of the situation. She didn’t want Alex to leave, but there wasn’t much she could do. So instead she tugged on Alex’s free hand and dragged her to back to the cab.

 

They sat side by side, iced teas in hand. It was like the day Tobin left for France, only this time it was Alex leaving and there weren’t a million questions running through both of them. Tobin looked at Alex for a moment, just taking her in. She had no idea when she was going to see the girl again.

“What?” Alex asked, quirking an eyebrow.

“Nothing,” Tobin shook her head, chuckling as she looked down at her drink, embarrassed. “Just...looking at you.”

“Why?”

“You’re so beautiful,” Tobin mumbled.

Alex blushed, fumbling with her straw. “Thanks Tobs.”

Her flight was called, causing the two girls to stand. This was it. It was goodbye until camp, which was weeks away. Alex sighed, her shoulders dropping.

“I’ll see you in a few weeks,” Tobin offered, a shy smile.

“A few weeks,” Alex echoed with a weak smile.

Tobin slid her arms around Alex, embracing her tightly. “I’ll miss you,” she whispered.

“I’ll miss you too,” Alex replied, wrapping her arms around Tobin’s neck.

They held each other, wishing they didn’t have to do this again, not after everything that had happened in the past weekend. Portland had finally been acknowledged, along with their night in New York. Their lips were doing more than just talking and their bodies knew each other better than they used to. But there Alex was again, not wanting to be selfish. She was telling Tobin not to choose, but all Tobin wanted was for Alex to make her choose because she knew right then she’d choose Alex.

Alex kissed Tobin’s cheek so softly that Tobin could barely feel the soft lips graze her lips. “Think about Laure too, okay? I won’t go anywhere.”

Tobin almost rolled her eyes. She didn’t want to think about Laure. “Okay,” she muttered anyway. She managed to pull herself away from Alex. “Have a safe flight.”

“Get home safely,” Alex smiled, pulling her luggage.

“See you soon.”

Alex nodded before turning and walking off to her plane. She knew what she was going to do. Tobin knew how the striker felt. Now it was all up to Tobin.

 


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One's starting a new life in Portland, the other's in France exploring things other than the city.

“Are you sure you want to pay for this?”

Tobin nodded, waving the other girl off. “Yeah, don’t worry about it. This is on me. I’m the one who took you out.” She placed her card on the table, flashing a hesitant smile.

A week after Alex left, Tobin found herself at a nice restaurant, sitting across from none other than her good friend Laure Bolleau. In the end, she decided to listen to Alex and give it a chance because she knew she’d never hear the end of it from Alex if she didn’t. So far, she’d been having a good time. She always had a nice time with Laure, but something made the whole thing uneasy. Maybe it was how famous Laure was in France, or maybe it was the way she knew how to stay humble; but somehow Tobin was constantly reminded of Alex.

Except this wasn’t a date. It was simply two friends who were having a nice dinner, courtesy of Tobin. At least that’s what Tobin was telling herself, and that’s what Laure believed. Titles were simply too much for the girls.

Once the check had been paid and the last of dessert was gone, Tobin guided Laure outside where they took a stroll. It was finally beginning to feel like fall in Paris. A slight breeze accompanied the two as they walked in silence, Tobin shoving her hands into her pockets.

“So...what is the occasion?” Laure finally asked.

Tobin furrowed her eyebrows. “What do you mean?”

“Well, you are never one to go out and spend a lot for no reason,” Laure explained, shrugging slightly. “It is just something I’ve noticed, is all.”

The midfielder nodded slowly, finding that Laure was right, anyway. “Well, I guess I’m…” she trailed off, trying to find a good explanation without Alex’s promise spilling out from her lips. “...trying something new,” she concluded.

Laure was silent for a moment before commenting, “I think I like this.”

Tobin let out a carefree laugh, bumping into her teammate playfully. “Only because I’m the one paying for it.”

“Maybe a little,” the French woman scrunched her nose, a small smile finding her face.

The midfielder only rolled her eyes, smiling. “Mhmm.”

As they continued to walk, a teenage boy shyly approached them. “ _Bonsoir_ , Laure?”

Laure nodded, seemingly a little surprised by the boy recognizing her. “ _Bonsoir, oui. Je suis Laure._ ” (Good evening, yes. I’m Laure.)

The boy’s face lit up at the confirmation of the soccer player in front of her. Tobin looked on with an amused face.

“ _Vous êtes incroyable! Je vous regarde jouer tout les temps!_ ” He exclaimed. (You are incredible! I watch you play all the time).

The defender laughed, blushing a little. “ _Merci_.”

“ _Puis-je obtenir une image avec vous_?” he asked shyly. (May I take a picture with you?)

Laure’s smile brightened. “ _Oui_! Of course!”

“I’ll take it,” Tobin offered, holding out her hand.

The boy thanked her, handing the phone to Tobin before finding his place at Laure’s side, smiling wide and pointing at the star. Tobin couldn’t help but laugh as she snapped the picture.

“There you go,” she said, hanging the phone back to the boy.

Laure gave the boy a quick have. “ _Bonsoir_!” she called out as he walked away.

As he got farther, Tobin let out a laughed. “I feel like you just made him the happiest guy on the planet.”

Laure laughed, shrugging her shoulders. “I am so sorry for that.”

The midfielder looked at her curiously. “Why?”

“I’m sure you would rather have an evening in peace,” she reasoned. “Honestly, I am still not used to people recognizing me on the street.”

Tobin shrugged. “I don’t mind, you deserve the love. It reminds me of…” she trailed off, knowing what she was going to say next. _Of Alex._

“Your national teammates?” Laure offered.

“Yeah,” Tobin nodded, looking out towards the street lights. “My national teammates…”

  
  


Alex sighed, putting the box she was carrying in her arms down onto the ground, along with quite a few others boxes with it. She took a look around the supposed living room, empty except for the boxes and the TV she and Rachel had carried in with Danielle trailing behind with a box. She let out a sigh, really taking the place in.

“You really like this place, huh?” Rachel asked, coming up from behind Alex to put the box down.

Alex smiled, looking at her teammate. “I’m in love with it. I owe you and Dani so much for this.”

Rachel simply shrugged. “It’s no big deal. I just know the perfect places to look for a house.”

The forward laughed. “Because you live only five minutes away.”

“Exactly!” Rachel nodded. “I’m only a few minutes away if you ever need anything.”

Their Thorns teammate made her entrance known by shutting the door as she carried a box in, dropping it at her feet.

“Careful!” Alex cried, eyes wide.

“It’s nothing that could break,” Danielle rolled her eyes. “Anyway, that’s the last of them Al.”

“Really? We finished?”

Danielle nodded in confirmation. “Yup. We have officially moved your belongings into your new house.”

“A real Portland girl now,” Rachel added.

Alex grinned, hugging each of the girls in turn. “Thank you so much for helping me out. You two are the best.”

“Eh, just helping a teammate out,” Danielle smiled at her.

“Do you want us to help you unpack?” Rachel offered, looking at all the boxes gathered to the nearest wall.

The forward shook her head. “Nah, it’s okay. You guys have done enough for me as it is. It’s perfect,” she admitted, looking at the house again. “Just something missing.”

Danielle furrowed her eyebrow. “Did you leave something in Seattle?”

“No,” Alex sighed, biting her lip. “More like across the ocean.”

“She’ll be here soon,” the defender spoke up, patting Alex’s shoulder. “Just work on your patience.”

The younger girl gave off a weak smile. “I’ll try.”

 

"Tobin!" Laure called from her kitchen. "Do you want a crepe or not?!"

 The american midfielder sautnered into the room. "Of course! I was just waiting for them to be ready."

Laure rolled her eyes, shoving a plate towards her. “Yes, leave me to do the work.”

“Well, you’re french so obviously you’ll make it better,” Tobin reasoned with a slight lift of a shoulder as she took her first bite. Her eyes lit up at the taste. “ _C’est bon_!”

“ _Merci_ ,” Laure smiled, giving a mock bow. She watched as Tobin took her next bite, then hit Tobin’s elbow, causing the girl to get cream all over her nose.

“Hey!” Tobin cried, putting down her crêpe onto the plate. “What was that for?”

The defender giggled, shrugging her shoulders. “Felt like you needed something.”

Tobin’s eyebrow quirked. “Oh really?”

“Oui,” Laure nodded.

“Well...you need something too,” Tobin announced, swiping some of the cream off of her nose and attacking Laure, who noticed it too late and could only shriek before cream was all over her face.

“Tobin!”

“We’re even!” Tobin laughed, wiping her finger off.

“You’re so mean!”

“You started it!”

Laure smirked, swiping her hand into the bowl of leftover cream. “We’re not even!” she yelled before going towards Tobin with her cream.

Within seconds, the girls were covered with cream in various places, giggling and wrestling each other in attempts to avoid anymore cream. Finally, Laure gave up, allowing herself to be cornered onto the counter.

“Okay!” she cried, trying to block Tobin’s cream-covered fingers. “Okay! You win!”

Tobin laughed, her hands lowering to press against the countertop. “That’s what I thought.”

They laughed for another minute until it slowly died down. Somehow, they were only now realizing the position they’d found themselves in. Laure was perched on the countertop while Tobin was leaning towards her, hands on either side of Laure’s legs. Only inches separated their faces and Tobin could feel the girl’s breath on her skin.

As the giggles died down she found herself looking intently at Laure, who was returning the favor. Laure’s eyes flickered to her lips. Once. Twice. Finally, they both closed their eyes, leaning in at the same time for their lips to meet halfway. It was short and sweet and Tobin wasn’t really thinking about what was going on, but Laure pulled away too soon for either of their liking.

The defender’s eyes held a sense of panic and fear, feeling she’d ruined something perfect between them. She wasn’t sure where Tobin and Alex were with each other, but she’d feel sick to her stomach if she intruded. “Oh Tobin...I--”

“Hey,” Tobin said quietly, silencing the girl. She looked deeply into Laure’s eyes, a hand lifting. She captured the other girl’s chin, bringing the defender’s lips back to her own.

 

“Such a great vacation,” Sydney let out a long sigh, sitting up on the bed.

After a day of swimming, tanning and cliff-jumping, the girls were already having too much fun  in Hawaii - and the wedding hadn’t even happened yet.

“I just hope I didn’t burn,” Alex pouted, inspecting herself in the mirror after she rolled out of her bed.

Sydney rolled her eyes. “Relax, you tan perfectly fine!” She lifted her head to look at the clock. “Hey, it’s like seven. What do you want to order for breakfast?”

At this, Alex became alert. “Wait, what time did you say it was?”

“Seven.”

“Crap!” Alex exclaimed, jumping to grab the remote. “Please tell me they have the Bien Sport channel!”

Sydney gave her a strange look. “Al, you know they don’t. They just have basic channels.”

The striker made a whining noise, falling face first into the bed.

“Why do you need a French-- Oh. Isn’t Tobin playing Kriegs, Ash and Kling today?”

“No,” a muffled rasp came from the other bed. “That’s next week. I was gonna watch Tobin’s game today.”

“Oh come on,” Sydney rolled her eyes. “Tobin isn’t going to be mad that you didn’t watch one game. She knows you’re on vacation.”

“But still,” Alex lifted her head, a visible pout on her face.

“Plus, you could always watch the recaps so when she calls you can tell her what you thought by being vague,” Sydney pointed out.

“Yeah I guess,” the girl sighed, shoulders drooping. “If she even calls,” she added under her breath, but not quiet enough to be unheard by her friend.

Sydney raised an eyebrow. “Alex...when was the last time you and Tobin talked?”

“Before I left France…” Alex mumbled, the pout evident again.

“Woah, what happened? Did you guys get into a fight?”

“No,” she shook her head. “I don’t know. We were fine when I left.” She decided to opt out that her visit changed everything between them. Because it wasn’t supposed to. They were supposed to call when they missed each other or send quick texts. It had been silence on Tobin’s end. Alex kind of expected this after leaving France; Tobin was typically one to try to figure things out without trying to get everything jumbled.

“Maybe she’s been busy?”

“Maybe,” Alex shrugged. “Let’s not talk about this right now. You were talking about room service?”

 

“So...you and Laure,” Lindsey said slowly. The three of them had decided to go to the movies along with Koso, and the other two had left to go buy the snacks.

Tobin nodded, eyes focused on the screen as trailers were playing. “Uh-huh..”

Lindsey frowned, waving her hand in front of her american teammate’s face. “Hey, our conversation’s over here.”

“What?” Tobin asked, annoyed. She was actually enjoying the trailer that was rolling, although she didn’t understand a word.

Lindsey rolled her eyes. “You and Laure, what’s up?”

Tobin shrugged. “I don’t know...Just going with it I guess.”

And it was true, she was just simply “going with it.” After their kiss, things seemed to be shifting more than ever and Tobin wasn’t sure what to make of it. They weren’t together or dating - at least they hadn’t talked about it. Alex said not to forget Laure, and so Tobin wasn’t. But that in no means meant she forget Alex.

“But what about Alex?”

The midfielder sighed. “She’s in Portland..”

There was no more time to ask questions as Koso and Laure returned with popcorn, drinks and candy. Laure found her seat next to Tobin again.

“Did I miss anything?” Laure asked, handing Tobin her candy.

Tobin grinned, finding her favorite French candy in her hand. “Nah. Well, I was watching this super cool trailer, but Lindsey rudely interrupted.”

“Oh Linds,” Laure sighed, looking over at the forward. She was too busy arguing with Koso over which candy they’d get. “Such a child.”

“Totally,” Tobin laughed.

They stared at each other for a moment before Laure leaned in to kiss her. It was soft and sweet, but missing something. And Tobin knew exactly what it was.

 


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's a key in America and a lock in France with a person on each end, it's time to decide.

October training camps were rapidly approaching and Alex had returned from Hawaii and California. She only had a week before she was due to fly out to Texas and meet with the national team, and she wasn’t ever sure how to fill her time. A part of her was missing and she honestly didn’t know if she was going to get that part back.

Some days she went out to the beach a few hours away to paddle board and clear her mind. It was relaxing enough to where she didn’t have to think. She just wished she had Mana with her - the small girl was always a welcome distraction.

Other days she’d continue to explore Portland. Somehow she always found something knew. Although she’d been here for the majority of the year, there was still so much to learn about the Rose City and it was fun to explore, but exploring the city was better with the other part of her.

Still there were days she had shoots for upcoming commercials or ads. Nike wasn’t the only one who wanted to use Alex for commercials.

But no matter what the forward did, nothing could take her mind off of the midfielder in Paris. There still hadn’t been any word from said midfielder and it was honestly starting to worry Alex. She practically told Tobin to go ahead and give it a go to date Laure, but she wasn’t sure what the chances of Tobin actually doing so were, especially not with the weekend they’d had.

 

“This house is really nice,” Alex admitted, looking around at the new Wambach-Huffman residence.

“I knew she’d like it!” Sarah exclaimed, nudging Abby’s shoulder.

Abby laughed, rolling her eyes. “Yeah, I’m sure you did.”

Alex laughed at their antics. “Glad to know you guys won’t be too far away from me in off-season.”

“You’re always welcome for a visit,” Sarah assured her.

“Anytime kid. You’re welcome in our house.”

Alex grinned, noticing the way Abby looked at Sarah when she said ‘our house’. They were always a relationship Alex had loved and supported. But her grin faltered a little when she noticed just who she wanted a relationship like theirs with.

The other forward immediately noticed the change in Alex’s expression. “Hey Al, let’s go out back and have some coffee.”

 

The young striker followed the veteran out to the back and gladly took a cup of coffee. They sat on the patio in silence for a moment, letting everything settle in. Abby had always been a mentor and older sister figure to Alex, ever since she stepped foot into her first national camp. There was something in the air and Alex could there was more to this than just “some coffee.”

“What’s on your mind?” Abby asked casually, looking at the striker curiously.

Alex chewed her bottom lip, unsure if she could unload the truth. To busy herself, she took another sip of coffee, letting the hot liquid run down her throat. “Things have been...slow without NWSL or friendlies.”

That wasn’t the answer Abby was looking for.

“What happened between you and Servando?”

Alex’s eyes immediately went to her relatively full coffee cup. No one really knew why they’d broken up. As far as Rachel and Danielle were concerned, things just weren’t working out. No one really knew about Alex and Tobin and everything they’d been through the past few months either.

“I fell out of love,” the younger striker said quietly, still not meeting Abby’s gaze. It wasn’t the whole truth, but at least it was something for Abby to take.

“Why?”

Alex let air escape her lips as she tried to figure out a vague way to answer the question. She knew she’d have to confront everything that had happened at some time, but she wasn’t sure if she could do it then and there.

“The distance was too much. And I’d always put things before him.” _I’d always put people before him_ , she thought to herself.

“It’s been years,” Abby commented, a confused look finding her face. “Why let it get to him now?”

Alex offered a small shrug, looking at Abby for the first time in the past few minutes. “He was growing tired of it. I guess he didn’t expect me to be gone as much as I am now.”

“But it’s the lifestyle you chose and he agreed to go along with it.”

The blue-eyed forward looked away, shaking her head. “I don’t love him anymore, Abby. I haven’t for awhile now.”

“Then why were you with him?”

“To fool myself into thinking I was,” Alex admitted, squeezing her eyes shut. “To keep my world as it was. To convince myself I wasn’t falling for someone else.”

 _Shit_ , Alex hissed in her head when she realized she’d let it slip.

Now Abby’s ears perked up. “Did I hear what I thought I just heard?”

“Uh...depends on what you just heard,” Alex mumbled, looking anywhere but Abby.

The veteran wasn’t fooled or amused by Alex’s antics. “Who?”

“Who what?”

“Alex.”

Alex sighed, shaking her head. “Look Abby, I’m not even sure if it’s going to work out with this person,” she explained, her head hanging low now. “I want to figure this out before I tell anyone.”

Silence filled the space as Abby digested the younger girl’s words. She seemed to respect her decision and nodded slowly. “Well, for what it’s worth I hope it does work out. This person must mean a lot if it meant falling out of love with someone you’d been with for years.”

A faint smile came to Alex’s face. “A very special person, trust me.”

For some reason, Alex wasn’t ready to share her feelings about Tobin with anyone. It was as if when she finally confessed, it wasn’t just her and Tobin’s secret. It was everyone else’s, and Alex didn’t like that. She liked having something only her and Tobin knew about. She liked the fact no one else knew how it started or where it all took place; where she kissed Tobin on their last night of summer together. All of it was something only two people carried, and although secrets never lasted forever, she wanted this one to last a little longer. At least until Tobin’s final answer came.

 

The weather outside was becoming cooled and more like fall - not that Paris had a particularly hot summer to begin with - but Tobin was comfortably under covers watching a re-run of some French show on the channel the TV had been on when it was turned on. Laure returned to the room, jumping onto the bed without warning.

“Hey!” Tobin laughed, moving up into a sitting position.

“ _Salut_ ,” Laure smirked before her hands began to assault Tobin in a tickle attack.

The midfielder began a fit of giggles, squirming around to escape Laure’s assault, but the smaller girl quickly straddled both of Tobin’s sides. The girl still continued to worm her body from side to side, half from the tickle and half from her attempts to escape. Lauren pressed her legs against Tobin’s hips to stop her from moving all together and pinned her hands above her head.

“Ugh,” Tobin panted, tired from her squirming. “This sucks.”

Laure scrunched her nose, a slight smile on her face. “This is not so bad.” Her face hovered over Tobin’s for a full thirty seconds before she leaned in and pressed her lips lustfully against Tobin’s.

Tobin’s lips reciprocated Laure’s actions as she twisted her hands, trying to free herself from Laure’s grip. She felt the other girl’s tongue drag slowly across her bottom lip and gave entrance almost immediately. Finally she was able to break free from Laure’s grip and grabbed her waist, wanting more contact. Laure’s hands became tangled in Tobin’s messy hair, tugging slightly. This elicited a moan from Tobin, to which Laure smirked. The defender parted from Tobin’s lips, leaving a trail of kisses down her neck.

Something about this was bothering Tobin, but she couldn’t figure out what it was. It’d been bothering her all along if she was being honest, but she’d chosen to ignore it. Somehow she had talked herself into continuing whatever was going on between her and Laure. It was harmless - at least she hoped it was. She wasn’t sure what was going on, but she was big on living in the moment and going with the flow so she never questioned it out loud.

As Laure’s hand slipped under Tobin’s t-shirt and touched foreign skin, memories flashed through her. In her mind, Tobin saw the hidden moments in the apartment in Portland. She saw their last night in New York. She felt the hug Alex gave her as they bid goodbye the day after. She felt the shivers down her spine when she heard Alex’s voice over the phone. She heard Alex’s whispers in ear her - the whispered promises she’d said the last time they’d seen each other in her sleep. Tobin grabbed Laure’s hand to stop her while her eyes flew open.

“I-I can’t,” she stuttered, gently forcing the french girl’s hand out of her shirt.

Laure gave her a confused expression. “ _Désolé_ ,” she immediately apologized, her cheeks flushing pink. “I should have asked if-”

“No,” Tobin shook her head, slowly moving herself out of Laure’s hold. The girl allowed her to move and settled for a spot next to Tobin. “It’s not…I mean I can’t.”

“You cannot what?” Laure asked, trying to understand what she’d done wrong.

“This,” the midfielder sighed. “You and I...whatever we’re doing right now.”

The defender frowned. “I do not understand Tobin. You have seemed to be okay with it. Why now? Did I do something wrong?”

Tobin was quick to deny that. “No! No Laure, it wasn’t you. It isn’t you. You didn’t do anything,” she rushed out. “It’s just…”

“Alex,” Laure said simply, summing everything Tobin was thinking and feeling into one name.

The american looked at her in surprise and shock. “What?”

Laure’s lips formed into a sad smile. “I am not blind, Tobin. I noticed the connection between you and her when she was here. It was silly of me to try to get in the way of that.”

“So...you’re not mad?” Tobin asked hesitantly, guilt beginning to fill her as she realized Laure had an idea all along of who had her heart.

Laure simply shook her head. “No, I am not mad. I understand you do not like to try to figure things out right away, and I suppose through this I figured things out, too. You are not mine to have. You belong with Alex.”

“Really?”

“ _Oui_. I would rather be your friend than be with you and not make you happy like she does.”

This was something that would always stun Tobin. Laure had a way of being selfless no matter what it seemed to be.

“Laure, you make me happy,” Tobin insisted.

Laure shook her head again, a slight smile on her face. “Not like Alex. You have to go home, Tobin.”

“Home,” Tobin repeated, trying the word out in her mouth. She hadn’t used the word for any specific place in a long time. Most of the time she used to refer to the United States, other times she used to to refer to the house she grew up in. Where was home now? She knew there was a bright blue object on her nightstand that could possibly answer the question.

  
  


In less than twenty-four hours, Alex was going to fly down to Texas and head into camp with the rest of her teammates she hadn’t seen since DC. Now that she thought about it, Alex wasn’t even sure if Tobin was going to be at the camp. PSG was very strict on when they’d be willing to lease Tobin. Last year, they’d joked it was a miracle she’d been allowed to leave for the Algarve Cup. Now that she had no guarantee of when Tobin would return - if she even could- the forward was starting to lose hope.

Alex walked into her bedroom, pulling out a drawer and grabbing the first object she saw. She closed the drawer and held the object firmly in her hand. Within the course of a few weeks, this object had become somewhat of a prized possession to her. As she uncurled her hand, she noticed the imprint of a key on her hand. A soft sigh left her lips as she stared between the imprint and the actual key itself. The key held a reminder of Tobin and everything that happened between them. To her, it showed promise of a future with her and Tobin moving forward together.

But what was happening on the other end? Was the blue lock being ignored? Had it not had any attention since Alex boarded the plane? Without word from Tobin, she had no idea what was going on, and really she didn’t even know if she wanted to know what was happening in France. It was a waiting game and Alex was holding out for as long as possible, praying Tobin would return and the game would end with the two of them as winners.

There was a knock on the door, surprising Alex. She kissed the key lightly before tucking it into her pocket, then made her way to the front door. Perplexed on who could be coming to see her, she took her time unlocking the door,and even more time opening it. The sight she found caused her jaw to drop.

“Nice house,” a cool, collected voice commented. The lone baggage of a duffle bag was on the floor. The figure leaned against the wall, looking as if she’d always belonged in the scene, and to Alex she always had.

Alex had meant to say a greeting or the figure’s name, but all she could think of was “What are you doing here?”

Amused by Alex’s shock, the other person chuckled softly. “You know, we kind of have a friendly coming up and we’re being called into camp tomorrow. So I decided to make a stop first before we headed over there.”

Alex was elated at the mention of camp and quickly picked up the duffle bag. “Smart plan.”

“So…” the visitor said slowly, following Alex into the hallway. “Is there room for one more?”

The striker spun around, unable to keep the smile off her lips. “Depends, what’s she looking for?”

“Home,” Tobin responded, grinning her famous grin. “Heard Portland’s nice. Especially with someone to go on adventures with.”

Alex giggled, dropping the bag. “Only if she can do me a favor.”

“And what’s that?”

“So there’s this key right here,” the younger girl said, pulling the key out of her pocket to flash it in her face. “but it’s had no use while it’s been here.”

“Hmm strange,” Tobin said playing along. “I think I have this lock,” she continued as she pulling out the blue lock from her pocket. “And I don’t have the key. Think we could work something out?”

Alex smiled, placing the key into the hole carefully. “I think we can.”

“Perfect.”

“Welcome home, Tobin.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you SO much for being patient with me and waiting for updates! I'm kind of sad to say this is indeed the last part of Their Portland Summer. I would like to thank the anon who gave me this idea in the first place (and who eventually helped me out with the story, giving me plenty of insight). I really hope you enjoyed reading this story and I would love to know what you think of this last part. Thank you all again so much for reading!


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